Elvis has left the khazi

So, I was in a small, rather attractive market town in Warwickshire and decided, as one would, to go for a curry. The entrance to the first place that I came across was up some stairs that took me past the door to the gents and just as I reached it Elvis Presley stepped out wearing his full Las Vegas stage suit. Obviously I was somewhat surprised, after all everyone knows his food of choice was peanut butter and banana sandwiches.

Anyway, I couldn't get a seat because the place was packed for what was presumably some sort of secret comeback gig - and I must say he looked good for a man in his eighties - so I strolled off in search of another Indian restaurant. (For the benefit of colonial readers any British town of, as in this case, around 6,000 residents will have three Indian restaurants). On my way back an hour or so later - Onion Bhaji followed by Subz Ghosht - I heard him singing. He didn't sound anything at all like this: