First blood to the shelf

Most, indeed virtually all, wargamers are as unwarlike as one can get. They do get agitated about historical detail (especially where it is impossible to know the truth either way), about which rule sets are best and, of course, about what constitutes a flank attack. But as a group they are the least likely group of people to ever resort to actual, rather than model, violence.

Wargamers

When wargamers get together it therefore usually falls to inanimate objects to inflict damage. My own nemesis has often been superglue. I will have to leave you to imagine the distress caused by gluing one's fingers together and then realising that one's teenage daughters have pinched one's standby bottle of nail varnish remover. At the legendary wargames room of James Roach the main problem has traditionally been pikes, spears and the like. James finds those provided with the original models too namby-pamby and replaces them with specially sharpened tungsten alloy just for kicks; and very painful it is too. I have always suspected that he dips the ends in poison as well.

Anyway, last night the wargames room had its revenge. The new shelf (which had been updated to an improved version since its first appearance last week - which tells you everything you need to know about the constant quest for perfection that marks out James 'Olicanalad' Roach) lay in ambush and, when James was least expecting it, leapt out and biffed him on the head causing blood to be drawn.

James Roach, on the left, being attacked by the shelf