Bloody Barons II

 I like to keep an occasional eye on  the most common search terms that have brought people to the blog. Sadly 'gay porn' has disappeared from the list, but thankfully 'beardy Branson is a twat' is hanging in there. Recently, the term 'Bloody Barons II' has appeared. Upon investigation I discovered that I had somehow overlooked the fact that Peter Pig had updated the rules first issued in 2005 and of which I own a copy. Even more investigation revealed that they are in fact a completely new set of rules, but have been given the same name.

My initial reaction was that it was some sort of con; in my defence I'm a bit of a cynic and that is my reaction to most things. However, logic says that it's the opposite that would be a con: the same set of rules with a new name. I don't know why I mention it. In any event I bought a copy.

As a slight digression, I am in the market for a fitness tracker or smartwatch and have been watching a number of YouTube reviews of various options. These influencer chaps - none of whom seem to be at all physically fit despite their interest in health tracking apps - have hit upon a useful trick for stretching out content. They do an 'unboxing' post followed, if one is lucky, by a full review in due course. That doesn't seem a million miles from what I have done (i.e. started to do) with 'Infamy, Infamy', and so this is an unboxing of 'Bloody Barons II':

• They are genuinely a completely different set of rules with, as far as I can see, no mechanisms in common.
• They are recognisably a Peter Pig/Rules for the Common Man ruleset:
• Four base units with casualties removed in half bases
• a pre-battle sequence, this one much simplified compared to others
• random game length
• Very useful playsheets; completely impenetrable main rulebook that seems deliberately written to confuse
• They are gridded with some obvious similarities to 'Square Bashing' e.g. in the morale phase
• There a couple of what look like innovative rules - albeit that for all I know they appear elsewhere in the RFCM canon - such as a phase where movement is by square followed by one where movement is, well, by square, but in a different way. Cavalry also seem to spend all their time off-table until they charge on to the field, melee and then retreat off-table again.
• Includes scenarios for all the battles from the WotR.

One of the things that I didn't like about the original rules was the way that they dealt with mixed bow and bill units, which was far too fiddly for me. These new rules seem to just assume that all units are mixed and abstract it from there, which is rather more to my taste. So, I shall add them to the pile of rules to try, and you can add them to the pile of rules awaiting a full review. Don't hold your breath.

New walls for old

 "Scenery is fine, but human nature is finer" - Keats

What Keats was undoubtedly saying with those words is that whilst most wargamers may desire in principle to have beautiful, lifelike terrain on their tabletops, by and large they are too idle by nature to actually bother much about it. Obviously there are exceptions, all of James' scratchbuilt stuff for example, but I'm not one of them. It is in that context that we must look at my ever growing castle and town wall collection.

Many years ago I made a version in card and the learning from that process has influenced the design this time, including the decision to make it from laser cut wood in the first place, which I may return to another time. The main mistake of my previous attempt was that I used whatever card came to hand and ended up with no standardisation in length. This time everything, more or less, is10cm in length, or possibly 5cm or occasionally 2.5cm. They all fit together anyway. One positive feature was making the width of the wall sufficient for a 40cm deep base, and I have retained that. Before, I had gone for a thin wall with overhang; this time, after reviewing early prototypes, I switched to wider walls. I left the height the same, not least because that's the height of the ladders and assault tower that my armies are equipped with.

One other observation from my first attempt relates to the size of the blocks making up the wall. I quickly found that if one painted them to scale then the relatively small size and regularity that resulted - let's not forgot that the masons who built them really knew what they were doing - made it look like brickwork rather than stonework. So I painted the mortar lines freehand to represent quite large blocks, which looked better to me, although by any objective measure it is a lot less accurate. I have kept to essentially the same principle this time, but after fifteen or so years looking at the old ones, have put in an extra row on the new ones; finetuning if you like.

Oh Oh Domino

 "You may get disgusted, start thinking that I'm strange" - Van Morrison, Domino

I have always believed in the power of music - and envied the ability of composers, musicians and singers - to convey emotions such as love, desire, lust...["OK, calm down, there are plenty of other emotions, you know." (*) ] ... but have never seen its strength as being the explanation of the principles of infection control. So, despite being a huge fan of Van Morrison, I have let his recent rantings about face masks rather pass me by.

"Take off your mask and drink your milk"

I am still, other than in medical situations, rocking a bandana, and have been a bit surprised not to see more of them about. At first, when people commented, I would reply "If it's good enough for John Wayne, then it's good enough for me.", but when it became apparent just how old people had to be before they had even heard of Wayne I quickly stopped.

Should I ever adopt a more straightforward facemask then I shall be sorely tempted by those available from the Royal Armouries. The tosei gusoku has a certain something about it.

* Actually I didn't

Up and down, up and down

 

Nothing ever goes away until it teaches you what you need to know

 “If you desire healing, let yourself fall ill, let yourself fall ill.” - Rumi

A couple of days ago I mentioned that I had been ill, and did so in a somewhat flippant context. Regular readers, especially those who have remember the events of almost exactly four years ago, will know what happened next. On Thursday evening a blue-light ambulance duly arrived and carted me off to A&E. It was, as you might expect, pretty deserted - although there was the usual quota of drunks accompanied by police officers - and was a somewhat more pleasant experience than on the previous occasion. Except, that is, for the most painful injection that I can ever remember having. I also had a brain scan; they didn't find anything.

Boom Boom

I have been given some medication whose side effect is to leave me lethargic and drowsy, although you'll have to take my word for it that things are worse than usual. In any event, no painting is likely in the immediate future. There has been one unexpected benefit in the form of the reappearance of the wise woman of Thornton, the estimable Coral Laroc. Coral last featured on here when I recounted the story of the cat, and has understandably been keeping her distance ever since. However, she has used her mystic powers (*) to get in touch and say that she is 'sending some healing'. I think we can safely assume that this will set back my recovery by some time, but I'm sure that she means well.

For reasons that I don't really understand, mentions of Coral in this blog get more reaction from readers than those about any other woman except those actually wearing male military uniform. I think therefore it is time to pass on how you can follow her adventures directly. Firstly, for cat lovers, I must sadly report that the cat is no longer with her. She had to pass it on because - as the episode in my kitchen proved - it doesn't fit with her lifestyle. "What is this lifestyle?", I hear you ask. Well, I would describe it as a odd mix of superannuated YouTube influencer, peripatetic D-i-Y woman, and 'Carry On' film tribute act. For those with nothing better to do, she can be found here. Please don't give her money or encourage her in any other way.

* WhatsApp

Advice to the Officers of the British Army

 Speaking of drumming yesterday reminded me that the book 'Advice to the Officers of the British Army', which I believe that I quoted from at the beginning of the recent troubles, is subtitled 'with the addition of some hints to the drummer and private soldier'. I'm not sure how well known the book is, and I'm pretty sure that it's currently out of print. My own copy is dated 1946 and that may well be the last time it was issued.

The book was originally published anonymously, but is generally accepted to have been by Francis Grose, a noted eighteenth century antiquarian. He may have decided to withhold his identity because whilst a militia officer (he had previously served as a regular in both the 19th foot and the 10th dragoons) he was entrusted with the funds from the officers mess and apparently managed to mislay much of it. The book is a satire ('1066 And All That' is as good a reference point as I can think of, although Grose's book isn't as funny as Yeatman and Sellar's) and may have been written in response to the debacle (from a British perspective) of the American Revolution.

The shortish book isn't relevant solely to the British army of that period, or even just to the military. A great deal of it has a sort of universal applicability.  Indeed, while we are speaking of shambles being carried on by the British government, this is included in his chapter addressed to the commanding officer:

"As you probably did not rise to your present distinguished rank by your own merit, it cannot reasonably be expected that you should promote others on that score. Above all, be careful never to promote an intelligent officer; a brave, chuckle-headed fellow will do full as well to execute your orders. An officer that has an iota of knowledge above the common run, you must consider as your personal enemy; for you may be sure he laughs at you and your manoeuvres.

A principal part of your duty is to see justice distributed amongst your troops. Military law being so summary and concise, you will not find this a difficult matter: but if, simple as it is, you should be entirely unacquainted with it, you may substitute your own goodwill and pleasure - and that, in fact, must be justice."

Pot99pouri

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away."

 - Henry David Thoreau

I have been laid low with a virus - thankfully a different one to the one everyone else has - and, to preempt your question, I have no idea how I could have picked it up given the current restrictions on doing anything that makes life worthwhile. Laid low is the precise medical term as my balance has been all to pot; it was all rather unpleasant, as was the treatment, which involved drugs being blown forcefully up my nose. Anyway, mustn't grumble.

I'm not sure if it was the illness or just the general lying around, but I have been experiencing vivid dreams. After the latest I woke up with the thought in my mind that it was odd how many of those that I had played wargames with I had also seen perform on Top of the Pops, added to which notion was a mental image of Tim Tennant playing the drums. I did wonder if the rock music element of the dream was in any way related to the drugs up the nose situation, but that's just speculation. Anyway, getting back to Tim, I appreciate that very few of you will have met him, but as far as I am aware he has never actually been a member of a popular beat combo. However, were he so to have been, I think it highly plausible that he would have been found in the rhythm section. I am therefore going to count this episode as a demonstration of the mysterious truths that we would find in our dreams if we only knew how to look. 

Tim displays his brushes to good effect

Perhaps it's time I got round to re-interpreting the one with the harem and the raincoat.