Come Hither, Come Hither, Come Hither

 I've been away. of which more in due course. But some wargaming action awaited me on my return.

Firstly, the tanks advanced at Amiens once again. It's the only scenario in the Square Bashing book for which I have the forces, and so when short of time it's the one which gets put on. It was a victory for the British on this occasion. I obviously don't mean to criticise the good people of Peter Pig, but which side wins is entirely down to how high the die rolls the Germans make in their countdown phase at the end of their turn; nothing else actually matters at all. Still, it passed the time very pleasantly.

Then there is some Cruel Seas news. Not progress, you understand, just news. It would probably be impossible to overstate just how much wargaming crap Peter had accumulated and, while continuing with the task of sorting it out for his widow, James has turned up some more relevant bits and pieces. The most pertinent were a couple of freighters, shown above with the 3D printed one which I bought in an early burst of enthusiasm, that's the one at the back. Now I have a convoy worth sinking it almost seems churlish not to paint a couple of MTB's up and do so.

Proverbs Chapter 21 Verse 19

 "In dealing with a disgruntled popsy the wise man waits till she has simmered down a bit." 

- P.G. Wodehouse

I have been asked why my game of Kelp: Shark vs Octopus was fraught. The game, which is quite highly rated and with the design of which I was mostly very impressed, is asymmetric. The two players do completely different things on their turns: the shark player is bag-building and placing dice out on the board, the octopus player is deck-building and manipulating tiles in an effort to bluff her opponent. The shark wins by finding and eating the octopus; the octopus wins by hiding and not being eaten.

It subsequently transpired that my companion had interpreted the term 'asymmetric game' to mean one in which the same side always wins. I am not clear how she reconciled that with the concept of it being a game in the first place, but by the time I was in a position to raise that question I decided that it was probably safer to change the subject. Before we started playing I had attempted to explain the details of how each side operated, but was silenced with a peremptory gesture. She was, she told me sternly, an experiential learner; we should just get stuck in. By the end the main learning experience for me was that Kelp is not a game that one should play with stroppy women who refuse to learn the rules. That also was something which I chose not to share with her.

For the record, she won as the octopus. A fuller review may follow should I find someone more amenable to play with.

The Bees Have Ceased To Be(e)

“What is a hobby anyway? Where is the line of demarcation between hobbies and ordinary normal pursuits? I have been unable to answer this question to my own satisfaction. At first blush I am tempted to conclude that a satisfactory hobby must be in large degree useless, inefficient, laborious, or irrelevant." 

                                                          

                                                       - Aldo Leopold

The bees having left us for higher planes access to the annexe has once again been possible. For no real reason at all my thoughts have turned to the first world war (*), and I have set up a Square Bashing scenario (**). I haven't yet run through the typically extensive Peter Pig pre-battle routine, so things will definitely change before the game starts.

Meanwhile, in the legendary wargames room, we have continued our exploration of the Slaveowners' Rebellion and the highly entertaining Fire and Fury rules.

It currently looks like a walkover for the Confederates, but James' wishes have been over-ruled and we are going to carry on playing next week.

* OK, it was the sight of things being gassed. 

** I can't remember if I've mentioned this before. but although the cover of the rulebook states that they are for the period 1900-1928, the OED dates the first use of the term itself to 1943.

Noisy, Fast, Massing In Hundreds

 “Surround yourself with bees even if they sting.” - Bhuwan Thapaliya

The wargaming annexe has been out of bounds for a while because of apian invaders. But their nemesis has arrived.

However, professional looking as this chap is, the effect of his actions seems only to have been to annoy the bees, and now the whole garden is out of bounds and I can't open the windows at the back of the house.

There has been some wargaming elsewhere though, with some Fire and Fury taking place in the legendary wargames room.

I rather like these rules, especially the mandatory manoeuvre roll for all brigades each turn. Good fun. 

Who'd Have Thought It?

 "A certain kind of rich man afflicted with the symptoms of moral dandyism sooner or later comes to the conclusion that it isn't enough merely to make money. He feels obliged to hold views, to espouse causes and elect Presidents, to explain to a trembling world how and why the world went wrong."

 - Lewis H. Lapham

"If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us." 

- Hermann Hesse

Deal or No Deal

 "When a clown moves into a palace, he doesn't become a king. The palace turns into a circus."

 -Turkish Proverb

Wargames Bloggers' Hats

 "I never saw so many shocking bad hats in my life' - Wellington

David over at The Ragged Soldier (*) has wondered aloud if bloggers should wear name badges to wargames shows so that we could be identified by one another and presumably by our adoring fans as well. Obviously I am always dressed in the chiton and sandals befitting the philosopher and therefore tend to stand out in a crowd, but his suggestion makes sense for all the others. My proposal is that they agree to wear a specific and recognisable wargames bloggists' hat. This being 2025, and me being up with the latest fads as well as the eternal verities, I asked AI for suggestions as to what type of hat that should be. This is what it came up with:

"For a wargames blogger, the hat they wear can be a fun way to lean into their niche, show off their personality, or even subtly hint at their preferred wargame era or faction. Here's a breakdown of considerations and hat styles:

Key Considerations for Wargames Bloggers:

• Era/Faction Alignment: This is perhaps the most unique aspect for a wargames blogger. Do you primarily focus on WWII, Napoleonic, Sci-Fi (like Warhammer 40k), Fantasy, or historical periods? A hat can directly reference this.
• Humour/Inside Jokes: Wargaming communities often have their own memes and running gags. A hat with a humorous wargaming-related phrase or image can be a great way to connect with your audience.
• Practicality for Content Creation: If you're filming or taking photographs, consider if the hat will cast awkward shadows, obstruct your view, or be uncomfortable during long sessions.
• Branding: Like any blogger, you might want your hat to feature your blog's logo or name.
• Comfort: Wargaming sessions can be long! Choose something comfortable for extended wear."

Very much sitting on the fence there I think, and also way off the mark when referring to humour being found in wargames blogs. My twopenny worth is that the choice should be flat caps as worn by Edward 'Callan' Woodward's sidekick Lonely. Callan is the wargamer and hero. Lonely, perhaps like we bloggers, is the low-life assistant, involved only on the fringe, but nevertheless compromised by the moral ambiguity of it all. Oh, and he smelled terrible.

* Which title, of course, bears no resemblance to the internet address of the blog

Still A Good Game It Is

 "If no mistake you have made, losing you are. A different game you should play." - Yoda

We're just about to have both yet another break and a change of period, so we needed a pick-up game to tide us over. X-Wing it was.

Considering how much money James must have tied up in models, at current second-hand prices rather than what he paid for them, we don't play it as often as perhaps we should. And despite all the reasons I shouldn't like it, I rather do. We had a complete novice playing, and after he had made the comment we all do on our first outing - i.e. "Shouldn't it be, you know, more three dimensional?" - he really enjoyed it. 

As I Was Going Over The Cork and Kerry Mountains

Mush-a ring, dum-a doo-dam-a-da

Whack for my daddy-o

Whack for my daddy-o

There's whiskey in the jar-o

I have been on a bit of a road trip in the South West of Ireland. Oddly, given how very, very old I am, I had never been to the Republic before. I really enjoyed myself, and I don't think it was all down to the glorious weather we had. Wargaming related stuff was there if one looked for it, such as this dark ages stone fort:

Or this Martello tower on Garinish Island:

Or Elizabeth Fort in Cork City. I haven't got a photo of the whole thing as it's surrounded by buildings, but here's a doughty Englishman seeing off a Spanish invader. Or possibly a noble Spaniard trying to  to aid the liberation of his co-religionists. Your money, your choice.

We were travelling from Kenmare towards Cork when I suddenly saw a sign proclaiming "Toy Soldier Factory & Visitor Centre". Sadly I wasn't driving and my companion for the holiday - who was at the wheel - forcefully expressed the view that I was merely guilty of wishful thinking and that in any case she had an urgent appointment with a cup of tea and a home made scone in Macroom (*) and so refused to turn around and look for it. Subsequent investigation at the Cork tourist information office identified it as the premises of Prince August. I didn't know that they were Irish and in any event had done no research of any kind about anything at all prior to boarding the ferry, so I suppose it's very much my own fault. From the leaflet which I eventually picked up far too late the visitor centre seems well worth a look.

The only model soldiers encountered on the visit were these in the Cork City Museum:

The room at that museum which I found to be the most interesting was that covering local events and personalities during the Irish Civil War. As William Faulkner said "The past is never dead. It's not even past.".

* In fairness the scone turned out to be rather excellent.

In Politics Evils Should Be Remedied Not Revenged

 So said Napoleon III, who is my next suggestion as the historical failure on whom Trump seems to be modelling himself.

It's not the barnet this time, just the same old trope of declaring war on someone who has been preparing for exactly that and intends to use it as an excuse to unite currently independent states under their rule.

Other things Napoleon III did that may or may not have echoes this time:

• Promised, but failed, to Make France Great Again
• Carried out a coup when the constitution barred him from standing for re-election
• Declared himself Emperor when he decided that being President wasn't grand enough
• Tried to buy Luxembourg from the King of the Netherlands
• Engaged in a disastrous adventure in Mexico
• Lowered tariffs and opened France to imported goods [Hang on a minute, who put this one in?]

Fun fact: the Empress Eugenie found sex with him disgusting, and refused to sleep with him again after providing him with an heir.

It was, of course, Napoleon III about whom Marx was writing when he said "Hegel remarks somewhere that all great world-historical facts and personages appear, so to speak, twice. He forgot to add: the first time as tragedy, the second time as farce."

PotCXXVIpouri

But man, proud man,

Drest in a little brief authority, 

Most ignorant of what he's most assured, 

His glassy essence, like an angry ape,

Plays such fantastic tricks before high heaven 

As make the angels weep.

 -William Shakespeare

Now, I don't wish to live in a world led by China any more than anyone else does. However, having said that, I am certainly revelling in the Schadenfreude of seeing Uncle Sam have his trousers taken down and his arse spanked.

Moving on. I am currently about half way through a month long wargaming hiatus. There is talk of another Peninsular War campaign when we resume, and this time we have been promised some actual victory conditions which in turn means that this time it might end during the lifetime of all those participating. 

In the meantime I have been to the opera. This time last year I promised a review of a performance of the 1881 version of Simon Boccanegra, and here it is. It was just as good as the performance I saw of the 1857 version. My companion for the afternoon - not the most ardent of aficionados despite my encouragements - declared it the best opera she had ever seen. Mind you she also claimed to understand the plot, which is hard to believe. The issue isn't so much what they do as why they do it.

Also highly enjoyable if a tad difficult to follow in detail, was 'It is I, Seagull', Lucy Mellors one-woman show about - possibly - self esteem, the objectification of women, chasing one's dream with added opera and space-travel. The last of those comes through the story of Valentina Tereshkova, and Ms Mellors does a pretty good job of representing cosmonaut selection and training and then the orbiting of the earth with nothing more than some physical theatre, some audience participation and a few arias. I'm not sure how accurate her version of Tereshkova's story was, and she doesn't touch on her current position as a Putin-apologist politician, but as I'm old enough to recall the events it brought back memories of the mid-Sixties. Even in those days the US didn't have things all its own way. Tereshkova, Vostok 6, was in space for longer than the cumulative total of all the Americans who had been to space before her, and of course Valery Bykovsky was also in orbit in Vostok 5 at the same time.

What Goes Up...

 "There is no law by which to determine the superiority of nations; hence the vanity of the claim, and the idleness of disputes about it. A people risen, run their race, and die either of themselves or in the hands of another, who, succeeding to their power, take possession of their place, and upon their monuments write new names; such is history." - Lew Wallace, Ben-Hur

The Current 'Situation'

 “TARIFF, n. A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.” - Ambrose Pierce, The Devil's Dictionary

Your bloggist has always viewed this blog - and also the work blog which I used to write before I transcended being a wage slave - as an alternative to simply chuntering to myself when something in the world irritates me. The recent behaviour of the Tangerine Tosser has clearly met  that criterion, but I have previously resisted the temptation to write about it, mainly because pretty much everyone in the UK (except a few outliers whom Private Eye refers to as 'Lone Derangers') feels the same as me anyway.

However, there are two elements that I now feel impelled to cover. Firstly, the likely effect on the boardgame publishing, distribution and retail industry; i.e. it will die and die quickly. I won't elaborate on the details - you can easily find it all explained elsewhere on the interweb - but it arises because the large majority of games are made in China and because the US is a significant slice of the global market, and  of course an even larger slice of the English-speaking market. Bear in mind if you do seek out and read such pieces that many of them were written when the tariffs were at 40%. None of the ameliorations suggested, cross-subsidies being prominent among them, will work at a 145% tariff level. The only technical point I will make - briefly donning my Finance Director's hat - is that the cashflow impact on working capital is just as important as increased cost/reduced profitability. I am aware of one US publisher which has already laid off the majority of its staff; it's inevitable that others will follow. I focus here on boardgames because I play a lot, but really it's just a microcosm of hundreds of other sectors, all of which will be negatively affected.

In the case of boardgames, what will the effect on me and my playmates be? Very little if truth be told. We have more than enough games on the shelf to last us for the rest of our lives and beyond. Indeed, the wife of the member of our small but perfectly formed group who is most prone to backing crowdfunding campaigns is reported to be elated.

My record in making predictions is patchy at best, but I'm going to make one regardless. Long before physical trade impacts of the type outlined above start to impact at the macroeconomic level there will be a sudden financial crisis, of the sort we saw in 2008. As this week's Economist puts it in fairly understated manner: "markets are starting to doubt whether Mr Trump can govern America competently or consistently".

Secondly, I note that it has become common to compare the Mango Mussolini to despised political figures from the past. That's obviously not the sort of thing that this blog goes in for. But if it were, I think Arthur Scargill is the comparison which I would draw, and not just for the preposterous combovers affected by both men. It's more to do with their decisions to take on implacable opponents, ones who were never going to back down, and to do so when those opponents had had years to prepare for the only tactic that our anti-heroes had in their armoury. Admittedly, in this scenario Xi Jinping may well object vehemently to being compared to Margaret Thatcher - and who could blame him?

Let's end with a quote from a man who saw all this coming:

"...we are for Free Trade, because by Free Trade all economical laws, with their most astounding contradictions, will act upon a larger scale, upon the territory of the whole earth; and because from the uniting of all these contradictions in a single group, where they will stand face to face, will result the struggle which will itself eventuate in the emancipation of the proletariat." - Karl Marx

Come. It Is Time To Keep Your Appointment With The Wicker Man.

 If most of you will excuse the self-indulgence, this is a message specifically for the reader who has recently been reading a particular subset of posts from a few years back; you know who you are. Please leave a message explaining the sudden interest.

"Much has been said of the strumpets of yore

Of wenches and bawdy house queens by the score 

But I sing of a baggage that we all adore"

Games, must we?

 In my last post I said that the opening scene of 'Owen Wingrave' contained a reference to Austerlitz. I nearly made a smug comment to the effect that I was probably the only person in the audience that picked it up. Two things stopped me. Firstly, the realisation that I was probably the only person in the audience that cared at all. And secondly, the possibility that I might have deduced the wrong battle anyway. There was no mention of the battle by name, simply a few oblique clues. One of these was the name of General Vandamme.

As it happens the villain in Hitchcock's 'North by Northwest', played by James Mason, is also Vandamm - no 'e', but close enough.

Two days before seeing the opera, I went to see Wise Children's stage version of the film, and am happy to report a return to form for the company. It's a whimsical crowd-pleaser rather than a straight thriller, but there is intelligence in the way that verbal humour, physical comedy and audience interaction are substituted for the darkness of the original. And then there's the action scenes. The film featured locations such as the UN building, various trains and stations, a cornfield being buzzed by a crop-spraying aircraft and, of course, Mount Rushmore; all are transposed to the stage with imagination and invention. It's well worth seeing.

Fact of the day: Eva Marie Saint, who played Eve Kendall in the 1959 film is, astonishingly, still alive and is the oldest living Academy Award winner.

Optimised for Rowing

 "There are no galley-slaves in the royal vessel of divine love - every man works his oar voluntarily!"

- Saint Francis de Sales

Someone - and I wish I could be more specific, but I wasn't paying attention - has acquired some ancient galleys and is looking for a set of rules. As part of the process of passing some on to him (or possibly, though unlikely, her) we cracked out James's Punic wars fleets and had at it. The rules were 'Fleet of Battle' as written by James and Peter and published in Wargames Illustrated (*) a few years ago. We played them as printed, in other words nothing like the the last time that we played a set of rules with that title, or probably as we shall play next time. I'm fairly sure that last time we did this we were trying to make them work with hexes, the same hexes that can still be seen on the tabletop in the photo above.

In any event, they worked well enough, with a bit of fudging where there appeared to be bits missing. For reasons of space the published version effectively only contains the QRS and not actually any rules per se. Obviously we know how it's all meant to hang together, but you have to wonder what anyone else made of it. Still, as I always say, if you can't rely on the common sense of wargamers then what can you rely on?

* I think; it could just as easily have been one of the others.

Yeed Our Last Haw - For Now

 "And a thing is not seen because it is visible, but conversely, visible because it is seen" - Plato

We finally got round to having a more ambitious game with the What a Cowboy! rules, more figures on the table and even a scenario of sorts. 

Sadly the quality of the photos hasn't improved. The two characters hidden on the right are bandits trying to ambush the wagon, which may contain money, or gold, or possibly their arrested leader. There were four factions on the table and I'm not sure anyone fully understood what they were trying to do, even James and he designed the scenario. I was in charge of one lot of lawmen, did the least and ended up the winner.

The rules continue to entertain. Richard Clarke likes to put spotting into his rules and it doesn't always sit right with me, but here they do make sense and the rationale behind them is well explained in the text. Reloading is possibly one area that seems a bit odd, but we came to the conclusion that it was perhaps about getting the cadence and flow of the game to work smoothly rather than a literal interpretation of either real life or of  how it's done in Hollywood. Anyway, having got on top of it we are inevitably now going to do something else. After all, it's hard to be a cowboy in the north of England.

What? Some Cowboys!

 As previously mentioned, we have been intending to play with some of Peter's collections which never saw action while he was alive. My progress with 'Cruel Seas' has been, to no one's surprise, non-existent. Fortunately, there were a small number of painted cowboys plus a set of the Two Fat Lardies' 'What a Cowboy!' rules. With James' Crusades era buildings standing in for adobe dwellings of the South Western US we were good to go. As I had played these rules before (once, and a couple of years ago) I was given the role of umpire/page turner. 

I must put some effort into taking more and better photographs, recent offerings really haven't been good enough. Given the figures which we had available the game saw a High Noon style face-off between a small group of Pinkerton detectives and a suspiciously equal in size, armament and skill level group of Mexican bandidos, both sides having neglected to bring their horses with them. It went down rather well, and familiarity with the rules having increased (we didn't find shooting all that intuitive, but got there in the end), we shall try a slightly larger game next week. Still no horses I suspect, somewhat ironic given that the figures were Peter's. The result of the game was inconclusive, with one bandit dead and two of the agents quite seriously wounded. There was a noticeable reluctance on the part of the players to pull back and recover their strength rather than constantly rush forward with all guns blazing.

I tasked James with the disappearing Triples entry on his blog (see the comments on the previous post) and he acknowledged that he had deleted it after a few months, feeling it was perhaps a bit strong. Despite it all being over ten years ago he clearly hasn't forgiven and forgotten though. His explanation for those present last night who weren't previously aware of the story was both forceful and embittered. 

“Yea, all things live forever, though at times they sleep and are forgotten.” - Rider Haggard

No Rules, Everyone Loses

 

"Everything that needs to be said has already been said. But since no one was listening, everything must be said again." - André Gide

2024

 "When affairs get into a real tangle, it is best to sit still and let them straighten themselves out. Or, if one does not do that, simply to think no more about them. This is Philosophy." 

- P. G. Wodehouse

It's review of the year time. I didn't do one last year because the illness that has plagued me on and off in 2024 started with unlooked for precision on 29th December 2023. That's bad news for posterity, because I had a lot to write about and would no doubt have done so most entertainingly. This year has seen a much reduced programme of activities. Apart from funerals; I don't think I've ever been to so many in such a short space of time.  I won't write about those.

Opera: I've only seen sixteen operas this year. The clear best among them was the Hallé's 1857 'Simon Boccanegra', with a nod to 'Aleko'. Of those I've not bothered to mention here before my favourites would include 'The Sign of Four', apparently the first opera ever written about Sherlock Holmes, Albert Herring, and Peter Brook's take on Carmen at the Buxton Opera Festival.

Theatre: Only twelve plays, so another drop year on year. Best was 'My Fair Lady' of all things. Even more surprising was my enjoyment of  'A Midsummer Night's Dream' at York Theatre Royal, with a genuine circus clown as Bottom. This blog normally has a strict 'clowns are not funny' policy. Perhaps as another sign of change I went to two comedy gigs for the first time in decades. 

Music: I saw eighteen gigs, so maybe that's why I couldn't find time to go to the theatre. Best were the mighty Southern River Band, but also excellent were Mississippi Macdonald, Brave Rival, the Milkmen, Errol Linton, the Zombies and others too numerous to mention; except that I am contractually obliged to mention both Martin Simpson and Fairport Convention.

Film: I only saw five films, must try harder in 2025. I think Conclave was the pick.

Talks: I attended nineteen talks this year, the shortfall being in part because I fell out with one of the groups whose talks I used to attend. I should probably do an annual award for which organisation I have had the biggest row with that year. The best talk was on the subject of J. B. Priestley, which is obviously a good thing, with a special mention for one on the somewhat more obscure subject of Washington Phillips.

Exhibitions: I've seen a few, too few to mention. I would strongly recommend both the Silk Road at the British Museum and the Van Gogh at the National Gallery.

Your bloggist buckles his swash

Books: Obviously, if one can't go out then one stays in and reads, consequently I have read 128 books this year. Too many. My favourite fiction was probably 'Scaramouche' by Rafael Sabatini; I do like a swashbuckler. The best that wasn't a century old was 'Gabriel's Moon', a spy thriller from the ever-dependable William Boyd. From the non-fiction, Bruce Springsteen's autobiography was very good. I'm not sure why I was surprised that he can write. I read lots of perfectly adequate military history, but nothing so outstanding that I'm going to highlight it here.

Boardgames: 168 plays of 91 different games. My current favourite is definitely Dune Imperium, which is one that I would have thought might to appeal to most wargamers.

Wargames: Which, after all, is what it's all about. The most memorable was Wellington vs Sault during our Peninsular campaign, for all sorts of reasons.

So, UK election result aside, it wasn't a very good year really. I think we all know that globally it is going to be even worse next year. I suggest we approach it stoically.

“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own…” - Epictetus