Uhh, one, two, three, four...

'Jeremy Hunt, Jeremy Hunt

Can't think of a rhyme for Jeremy Hunt'

Still no wargaming, painting or anything remotely relevant to the purpose of the blog, but there has been yet more music. Live albums used to be all the rage. Think "Get Yer Ya Ya's Out", "Live at Leeds", "Live at Folsom Prison" or "Stupidity". Double live albums were particularly popular and I owned a few on vinyl. I think I'd have to go for Dylan's "Before the Flood" as my favourite, but being the age that I am Lynyrd Skynyrd's "One More from the Road" would also feature highly (I can't think about it without shouting out "Give me a T for Alabama"; possibly that's just me.). I even owned a Judas Priest double live album, although in my defence I won it in a raffle at a Bradford working man's club on my 8,000th birthday, never actually listened to it and long ago gave it to my ex-wife's sister's first husband. However, despite all that intimate association with the format, I've never been present at the recording of one - until now (1).

I have been to see the Jon Palmer Acoustic Band record a live album and very good it was too, a band that usually plays to a couple of dozen people in pubs relishing a sold out venue full of, let's face it, friends and family. But it was a great atmosphere, they played their brand of uptempo folk with passion and ability, and they were very rude about Jeremy Hunt and the rest of the 'posh boys talking bollocks'. What's not to like? Mostly JP's own compositions, but with an idiosyncratic cover of 'Dirty Old Town' and a moving one of 'Meet on the Ledge'. I look forward to the CD, a free copy of which was included in the ticket price.

(1) Like so much on this blog, that statement isn't actually true. I was in the audience when the Ramones recorded "It's Alive" - New Year's Eve 1977 at the Rainbow, Finsbury Park, and what a night that was. See if you can spot me. Gabba Gabba Hey.

The devil hath the power to assume a pleasing shape

No wargaming to report, simply because there hasn't been any. There has been more music though, starting with the excellent - and Otley based - Yan Tan Tether. Apart from doing the second version of 'Wayfaring Stranger' that I'd heard in three days and an always welcome Jake Thackery cover, they performed 'The Widow'. I urge you all, but especially the knitting wench, to listen to the lyrics.

Pot52pouri

About a month ago I ordered a couple of Ospreys for my WWI project. After a few days I was told that I'd have to wait a month because they were print on demand, which is in itself an interesting use of the English language. Anyway, they turned up today and in both cases only the odd pages are there; all the even pages are blank. Clearly the print on demand bit refers to the fact that if one doesn't explicitly demand that they be printed properly, then they won't be.

In other news, I've been to Sheffield. Nothing of any significance whatsoever to report except that I did have the by now traditional Greggs sausage roll.

In other, other news there has been music. The ever reliable Dr Bob and the Bluesmakers were as good as usual and I also saw Karin Grandal Park and Rosie Clegg, an excellent folkie type duo mainly playing Grandal Park's own compositions. As regular readers will know I have an aversion to the banjo, but if it is ever going to be acceptable anywhere it's in playing 'Wayfaring Stranger', and a very nice version they did. The original stuff was very good - if a tad depressing in tone - and sat well with covers of songs by such as Buffy St Marie, Richard and Linda Thompson, Mary Chapin Carpenter and a lovely take on Boo Hewerdine's 'Patience of Angels'.

In other, other, other news I went to see the National Theatre live broadcast of 'As You Like It'. The elder Miss Epictetus declared it even better than 'A Winters Tale', but I'm not sure whether the better play made up for the absence of Dame Judi. The conceit of hauling lots of office desks and chairs up into the air to create the Forest of Arden worked wonderfully well, but it was never explained what they were doing on stage in the first place. And a mention must go to the casting of Leon Annor as Charles the wrestler. When he bellyflopped onto Orlando, both audiences - in theatre and cinema - audibly winced. Not the sort of chap you want to sit next to on a plane though.

Jeremiah 51:21 - tempting, but no

"There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." - Herman Melville

I have been painting again, somehow overcoming the emotional scars from the hurtful words of the big, bouncy woman. The first, small, batch of the Great War project is now complete and I am reasonably pleased with them. I went for a light khaki, packs and webbing in yellow ochre and leather as appropriate (or at random depending on how you look at it) and then a heavy brushing all over with Ronseal teak varnish. I think the end result could have done with being a bit greener, but then again - and I'm not sure if I have ever mentioned this before - I am severely colour blind so my green is probably different to everyone else's. The varnish has highlighted that I wasn't as thorough in removing the mould lines as I should have been, especially from their helmets. I'll have to think of some way of testing that prior to painting; it appeared OK to the naked eye. Anyway they will look fine at arm's length on the table. Extrapolating out my current rate of progress I shall be able to stage a game to commemorate the centenary of the Armistice.

Just in case anyone is interested I normally only use the teak varnish on horses; other figures get beech. I also rashly bought some mahogany, but have never found an occasion to use it. For the Germans I thinking of perhaps a black wash of some sort will be best; I shall have to experiment. I have also broken with the habit of a lifetime and gone for a matt finish for this period. I've always been a gloss man - they are toy soldiers when all is said and done - but it didn't seem right here.

The chariots have continued to receive attention in the background along with the French line lancers. They, the chariots, seem to get worse every time I go back to them, but I don't have the energy to take them apart now. They will be finished and used, and I am tempted to buy another box, just to cut them up and reassemble them in a sensible looking way to prove it can be done. And as someone once wisely said in the comments to this blog "You can never have enough chariots".

The course of true love never did run smooth

And so to the opera. In fact I've been two nights in a row, which is excessive even for me, although not unprecedented. First up was 'Cosi fan tutte' by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, a young composer who shows much promise. The work wasn't performed much for many years because it was considered immoral; to modern eyes the failing of its story is more due to misogyny than lack of morals. The title means roughly 'women are all the same', an irritatingly immature attitude for a major work of art to profess. The music is sublime though and, as usual, was done full justice by the orchestra of Opera North and the singers. The production was a revival from a decade or so ago, with all the action taking place in a giant camera obscura. This isn't as odd as it sounds and works rather well, but I can vividly remember the tutting from behind me years ago when it was first staged. As an aside there is also a moment to please all those of you - those many, many of you - who appear to have a thing for women dressed in male military attire.

All that the performance of Donizetti's 'L'elisir d'amore' has in common is that it is also a revival, it made me think of 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' (1) and it seems to set out to demonstrate that women are fickle and shallow. So quite a lot in common then. Notwithstanding Mozart's genius, my own taste runs much more to bel canto and so I actually preferred this. Plus it's funnier and has a hot air balloon. Again this is a fine interpretation, with everyone on top form, although I'm going to pick out the female chorus for particular praise.

Returning to Mozart, he and/or Da Ponte might have had somewhat dodgy views on sexual equality, but they did at least give us a character, Despina, who overtly challenges the idea that the rich and idle are entitled to hot chocolate while the workers have to make do with the aroma. Right on, sister.


(1) I have read that the plot of 'Cosi fan tutte' more closely resembles 'Cymbeline', but despite a quote from that play appearing on this very blog less than a fortnight ago I've never actually seen it. There is a production on a the Globe this summer, so perhaps I'll have a chance then.

Good game it is

“Many of the truths that we cling to depend on our point of view.” – Yoda

Presumably everyone reads James' blog, especially after all my recommendations. You will know therefore that he has had a bit of a mid-life crisis and strayed - hopefully temporarily - from the righteous path of historical wargaming. This has led him to buy lots of models based on a long-forgotten science fiction franchise, to use his superb modelling skills to turn razor blades into things that look like razor blades and to forget the word transceiver. So it was that earlier in the week we found ourselves playing X-Wing.

This was the second time I'd played the game and despite the fact that it ticks very few of my boxes I think it's a very good, very enjoyable game. I don't like sci-fi, I've never seen any of the films so don't know the back story, I have philosophic objections to collectible card games (admittedly partly based on the fact that I didn't think of such a brilliant money making idea first), and the idea of competition gaming just makes me laugh. But notwithstanding all that, it's a fun game to play. I regard it in the same way as I do most boardgames I play, Eurogames particularly, forget the theme, play the rules; sort of the opposite of the 'play the period not the rules' mantra. There was one slight problem with the scenario design in that the Imperial forces had zero chance of winning (despite sporting some impressively oddly named pilots), but that didn't seem to make much difference.

In other wargaming news, for some unaccountable reason I thought that a female visitor to the Casa Epictetus might be interested in the story of the great base fire. When I showed her the scorch marks she ignored them and went straight for the chariot. "Did you paint this?" she asked. When I replied in the affirmative her judgement was unequivocal. "It's crap." she said. In vain did I point out that whilst it almost certainly be crap when I'd finished it, as all I'd done so far was prime it (for details of that disaster see earlier posts), undercoat it (in terracotta as always) and slap a base coat on the horses and flesh on to the Celts, it seemed a tad harsh to write it off just yet. Sadly, she was unmoved, although she was more complimentary about the home made orange and mixed spice oat cookies.

Meeting at Night

So, still no za'atar (it's grim up North), but I have managed to score some preserved lemons. Other than that all is well.

The grey sea and the long black land;
And the yellow half-moon large and low;
And the startled little waves that leap
In fiery ringlets from their sleep,
As I gain the cove with pushing prow,
And quench its speed i' the slushy sand.

Then a mile of warm sea-scented beach;
Three fields to cross till a farm appears;
A tap at the pane, the quick sharp scratch
And blue spurt of a lighted match,
And a voice less loud, thro' its joys and fears,
Than the two hearts beating each to each!

                   - Robert Browning

Psalm 51 verse 7

Well the week is off to a terrible start; Waitrose have sold out of za'atar. I know that you feel my pain. I hope all those smug middle class bastards who have bought it choke on their pitta breads. However, I am not going to let a little thing like this spoil my day. In fact I am quietly confident that things will have improved significantly by the time that I go to bed. 

There has been lots of painting over the weekend. The chariots are not going well - they've sort of tipped back at such an angle that no amount of bracing against the side by the occupants could possibly stop them falling off the back as soon as they moved forwards - but I am quite pleased with progress on the first section of Tommies. These include duplicate figures for the Lewis gun team: firing and carrying. The rules don't demand it, but it will look better. Obviously I still intend to use the chariots despite their being seriously aesthetically challenged, but hey ho.

You Got To Be Startin' Somethin'

I have commented before on my incompetence with superglue and even with gloss varnish. I must now add plastic primer to that list. Storm Imogen having departed and Storm Joshua/Jasper/Jeremy not having yet arrived the weather is calm. OK, so it's snowing heavily on and off, but there is no wind. I therefore decided to get out into the garden and do some spraying. Obviously this had to be quick in order to dodge the snow, so I may possibly have cut some corners. As a result I look as if I am suffering from sudden onset vitiligo. Not good.

Your bloggist tries his hand at drybrushing

Anyway, the toys also got covered so there was some upside. Three chariots and a French Napoleonic artillery caisson now await paint. The 3rd Lancers are about half way through so I'm running out of excuses for the First World War stuff. I think the basing question has been pretty much settled. I'm going for 2p pieces for everything and I'll worry about the 'big men' later. Prone figures - which  in the first instance means firing Lewis gunners - will be on a larger circular base, dimensions still to be decided. Heavy weapons will be on bases of a size and shape to be determined later. I think a bit of self-congratulation is order, that's a fairly comprehensive plan all mapped out there.

STOP PRESS: While writing this blog post I became aware of a strange smell. It turned out to be the base of one of the chariots mentioned above, which had started to smoulder quietly. Leaving aside the sheer unlikeliness of this and the ineptitude required to allow it to occur, the real issue is what's up with the smoke alarm? It won't let me make toast without going berserk, but a bit of cardboard on fire and it doesn't react at all.

'Cause many years from now there will be new sensations

I wanted to draw to your attention the comments section on a recent post, in which there is speculation as to what Edmund Blunden, the war poet, would have made of Noddy Holder, the shouty chap from the Black Country with the sideburns and the mirrored hat. Perhaps, if he did indeed watch the Christmas 1973 edition of Top of the Pops (and given how few channels there were in those days, I think we can assume that he would have) he may possibly have recalled these words of his own:

"And some are sparkling, laughing, singing,
Young, heroic, mild;
And some incurable, twisted,
Shrieking, dumb, defiled."

Or perhaps not. In any event, I hope you've all noted the spooky synchronicity that, among the very same pop highlights of the year, he would also have seen the Suzi Quatro performance that I posted yesterday.

And were I ever to direct a film of Blunden's life in a Baz Luhrmann musical stylie - which I hope we can agree is not the strangest idea ever to appear in this blog - then I would depict him sitting in the trenches singing this song, which sadly he never got to hear, having died before it was released:

And some are sparkling, laughing, singing,/Young, heroic, mild;/And some incurable, twisted,/Shrieking, dumb, defiled. - See more at: http://www.poetryarchive.org/poet/edmund-blunden#sthash.4UB6R1qV.dpuf

And some are sparkling, laughing, singing,/Young, heroic, mild;/And some incurable, twisted,/Shrieking, dumb, defiled. - See more at: http://www.poetryarchive.org/poet/edmund-blunden#sthash.4UB6R1qV.dpuf

And some are sparkling, laughing, singing,/Young, heroic, mild;/And some incurable, twisted,/Shrieking, dumb, defiled. - See more at: http://www.poetryarchive.org/poet/edmund-blunden#sthash.4UB6R1qV.dpuf

No need to laugh or cry

I am tempted to start with a moan about Windows 10, but let's do wargaming stuff instead, despite it being a bit thin on the ground. The battle of Neuestrassen rather fell away and we gave up half way through the third night. It was mainly my fault as I wouldn't attack, but I didn't think I had enough infantry and they certainly weren't in the right place. I would have won eventually just by picking off morale chips from the Austrians here and there - my artillery had to come good eventually - but it wasn't making for a terribly good game. I think luck was fairly even over the three weeks, but Peter failed Major Morale multiple times and then lost a cavalry melee with a fresh Cuirassier unit charging a Dragoon unit that had lost three quarters of its strength to musket fire; all of which he took well. The new roads are good though. And have I painted anything myself this week? Not as such. Have I worked out the basing for the WWI stuff I bought? No.

In other news, I was at a breakfast meeting with the Yorkshire and Humber agent of the Bank of England for a run through their latest forecast of the economy, and I have to say that it all seemed rather over optimistic to me. If I correctly understood the process that they go through it mainly consists of looking at whatever assumptions are priced into futures markets for key factors such as oil prices, house prices, unemployment etc; in fact everything except for UK interest rates and that's only because it's the BoE that sets those in the first place. Given the track record of the financial markets for correctly pricing anything perhaps it's best not to take it all too seriously. She asked not to be quoted on the record, but I can't resist one small transgression of that rule. When asked how their forecast reflected the possibility of the UK leaving the EU she simply said that they didn't make judgements on political issues and that when markets started to price in that risk then so would the BoE. However, when asked what she thought the possible impact would be on the UK economy of a crazy person becoming President of the United States, she visibly blanched and her speech became incoherent for quite some time before she recovered sufficiently to say that they would worry about that when the markets started to price in the risk.

And there has been music, with gigs by Nick Hall and Kushty Rye, both excellent. The former, who included a lovely version of 'Wonderful Life' as a tribute to the late Colin Vearncombe, is usually to be found in a duo with his wife, but she is seemingly currently appearing as an ersatz Suzi Quatro on a tour of the Czech Republic alongside a former member of Smokie; apparently it pays well. I must confess to having seen Smokie, who were from Bradford, in concert about forty years ago. Once you discounted the hits ('Living Next Door to Alice' anyone? Thought not.) they weren't bad. Sadly I never saw Suzi Quatro in the flesh, so let's remind ourselves of what I missed:

Kushty Rye (which I believe to be Romany for 'good bloke') are a sort of homage to the late Ronnie Lane, although only two of his songs (How Come and Ooh La La) actually featured in the set. Other than that it was all self-penned, but high quality country/folk/rock.

C&C Expansion 5

"In many spheres of human endeavor, from science to business to education to economic policy, good decisions depend on good measurement." - Ben Bernanke

Some of the new terrain in situ

Before I bought last lot of Hexon terrain I had worked out that four boxes would cover my table. I already had two and so bought three more to allow building of hills whilst also taking advantage of Kallistra's volume discount. Mysteriously, and despite the advanced mathematics involved in the estimate, I had plenty left over from four boxes and ran out of slopes before I had even opened the fifth box. In any event I had specifically bought the fifth box as flocked - rather than the cheaper unflocked suitable for lower levels of hills - because I decided that would give me the flexibility to have a standard size game of C&C on the dining room table while a larger game was set up in the annexe. And so, last night, that's what I did. Equally oddly the dining table, rather than being plenty big enough as it should have been, only just managed to accommodate the tiles with no room left around the outside for the usual accoutrements (1): cards, dice, victory markers, ginger beer etc. I could have sworn that I'd had something sizable on that table before.


My boardgaming friend Chris, who I have mentioned here before has expressed an interest in trying figure wargaming, came round and we had a very cramped, but enjoyable, game. We played the Wartenburg scenario with Bavarians standing in for Wurttemburgers, of whom I have none. This was my - and indeed his - first try of the latest expansion and I was impressed:

• I really liked the new Tactics cards which definitely added a bit of spice and gave options even with a poor normal hand. There was great satisfaction to be had by laying out the right combination to attack unexpectedly and with greater strength than one's opponent anticipates.
• The new roles for leaders also added something. Their use is more subtle than in C&C Ancients which is as it should be, although as I think I've pointed out before it doesn't in any way replicate real Napoleonic command structures. I think that the use of commanders will require several plays to understand the possibilities better.
• There are various other new rules (Garrisons, Grand Batteries, Ranged Fire against Lone Leaders), but none of them arose so I can't comment on them. 
• I must also just mention the first outing of the new wooden C&C dice also purchased recently via eBay - all the way from Canada - which have nothing to do with Expansion 5, but which were a huge improvement on the plastic version; highly recommended.

So another step in introducing Chris to the hobby and he is very keen to move on to something a bit more wargamey and a bit less boardgamey. Which reminds me, the other set of rules that he has played is To the Strongest! and the as-built dimensions of the new terrain will make it really easy to set it up for that game. All I need is 88 identical markers; suggestions welcome.

(1) Google's spellcheck wants that to be 'accouterments'; Americans have obviously moved on from mangling English spelling to starting on French.

Some griefs are med'cinable

Another day, another storm with a middle class name. However, yesterday saw a brief gap in the weather, allowing Peter to ride the range, herd 'em up and move 'em out. This meant that I fired up the Polo (which reached 90,000 miles last week) and gave James a lift to Vapnartak. It was all most enjoyable although, as at other shows, the number of display games seems to fall steadily year on year. It seemed busy enough with the usual quantity of six-packs and washboard stomachs to be seen. James claims to have bumped into the entire Ilkley wargaming community (individually of course, because as schism builds on schism - they really could give the Judean People's Front a run for their money - they might more accurately be referred to as the Ilkley solo wargaming community), but being a miserable git I saw no one and spoke to nobody.

One game that was being demonstrated was Lion Rampant. We had enjoyed our try out of the rules the other week, but couldn't understand why friendly units couldn't be closer than 3" to each other. There were two theories proposed: either a zone of control issue or simply to stop individually based units getting mixed up together (we of course were using stands). The game on show was a Crusades participation game (someone please correct me if I got the period wrong) and the first thing I noticed when looking at it was the units weren't three inches apart. Sure enough as soon as they activated there was much moaning from the various players that others were moving their troops. Given that the use of stands neatly eliminate that issue I think we shall quietly drop that rule.

The main purpose of my trip - apart from buying some khaki paint; mission accomplished - was to collect a large order of Hexon terrain from the Kallistra stand. I now have much of this laid out in the annexe and I am very pleased with it. On reflection I would have bought more slopes and in different proportions to those in the packs they sell. Building this terrain is a three dimensional puzzle and my brain, magnificent in so many other ways, struggles hopelessly to visualise how it goes together. Still, as I say, I am very pleased with how it all looks.

I also stopped off at the Early War Miniatures stand to check out their 20mm WWI stuff. I did try to do the same at the Tumbling Dice stand, but it was always very busy. I bought a token pack of a Lewis gun team on the move, but feel that I might well be adding some of their other stuff in due course. I also snapped up a set of the out of production Revell WWI Germans at a very reasonable price.

So, a very pleasant trip during which I spent a lot of money, but at least my car, unlike others I saw, didn't need a push to get out of the mud.

Books unreviewed

"Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking." - Einstein

I have been doing some background reading on trench warfare during the second half of the First World War, starting with the relevant Osprey and with Paddy Griffith's 'Battle Tactics of the Western Front'. The first thing to note is that both the author of the Osprey and that of 'Through The Mud and the Blood' are, how can we put this, very familiar with Griffith's work. I've always understood there to be some controversy over his somewhat revisionist view of the performance of the B.E.F. and of the infantry in particular, but presumably the others are on his side.

I myself bring no prior knowledge whatsoever to the table. Griffith's book wasn't really what I had envisaged - not being particularly polemical - but was very interesting nonetheless. I've worked in a lot of large organisations and his description of a blend of front-line operational kaizen coupled with layers of highly political management of varying degrees of competence rings very true. I shall keep reading (anything to avoid thinking about basing) and have moved on to Wyndham Lewis' autobiography. I have obviously already read the relevant works by Robert Graves and Siegfried Sassoon, but have retrieved them from the old marital home for a second look. My ex-wife is familiar enough with my pretentiousness not to be taken aback by urgent requests for books by long dead poets.

Speaking of which, lets have a poem by Graves that has nothing to do with the war:

Love is universal migraine,
A bright stain on the vision
Blotting out reason.

Symptoms of true love
Are leanness, jealousy,
Laggard dawns;

Are omens and nightmares -
Listening for a knock,
Waiting for a sign:

For a touch of her fingers
In a darkened room,
For a searching look.

Take courage, lover!
Could you endure such pain
At any hand but hers?

          - Robert Graves

Early in the morning, just as the day is dawning

The postman has been, bringing with him my order from Hannants, an impressively quick dispatch and delivery time. So to start my new Great War project I have for the British: WWI Canadian Infantry, British WWI Infantry and Tank Crew, and WWI British Artillery Crew; for the Germans: WWI German Army, and German WWI Infantry and Tank Crew; and for the Celts: Gallic Chariot. More goodies are on back order.

It's probably the last item that will get painted first because I have a couple of problems with the First World war stuff. Firstly, no khaki paint, which is rank bad planning, although hopefully that can be sorted at Vapnartak tomorrow. The second issue has me copying James. Not, sadly, in his painting ability, nor in his rigorous scoping of projects and focus on them once they are planned. Instead I refer to a habit which you will recognise if you read his blog (and if you don't read it then you certainly should), namely his public agonising about basing protocols.

These figures will certainly be individually based, but after that it gets complicated. What size individual bases? Coins or MDF? If it's coins then I'm leaning to 2p pieces rather than 1p to represent the fact that they would always be in loose order. The rules I have in mind are Through the Mud and the Blood which in itself raises questions. How to represent the 'big men'? Should one mark the bases to represent the different troop roles (rifleman, bomber, trench clearer etc.) or rely on the model delineating things clearly? If one is going to mark the bases then does that imply sabot bases? What about Lewis gunners, all the models of which (and I have quite a few) are lying down and so can't be based in the same way as the others? And notwithstanding the starting assumption, heavy weapons certainly won't be based on coins and probably won't be based individually. Should I try to work out the likely format of bunkers and other strongpoints that the HMGs will go inside before then deciding how the figures will be based? It's all very difficult.

So, chariots it is then.

If you really mean it, it all comes round again

"Little Matty Groves, he lay down and took a little sleep
When he awoke, Lord Donald was standing at his feet
Saying "How do you like my feather bed and how do you like my sheets
How do you like my lady wife who lies in your arms asleep? "
"Oh, well I like your feather bed and well I like your sheets
But better I like your lady wife who lies in my arms asleep"
"Well, get up, get up," Lord Donald cried, "get up as quick as you can
It'll never be said in fair England that I slew a naked man"

I have been to see Fairport Convention yet again, and they were as excellent as ever. In fact I am tempted to simply point you at the last blog posting about one of their concerts. The set listing has changed a bit over the last year, but not that much and the highlight for me was once again 'Matty Groves' from Liege & Lief. It's a traditional folk song of 'two chords and nineteen verses' which ends badly for the title character, but then again I think we'd all agree that he deserved it. Anyway, none of the above should be taken to suggest that I didn't enjoy seeing them. I did, very much, and I shall hopefully be there to watch them on their 50th anniversary tour next year.

The Great War has featured in this blog recently and here's a sad song on the subject that they performed last night:

Cross-mojulation

"So I started to work my mojo, to counter their mojo; we got cross-mojulation, and their heads started exploding." - Austin Powers

I have, I think, mentioned before my admiration for those who regularly post photographs of what they have painted. I don't do that because my painting is no good, I don't have a camera and, most depressing of all, I never paint anything. Or do I? The mojo has suddenly, out of nowhere, reappeared. I rushed to my secret drying cupboard and retrieved everything to remind myself of the state of play. Some French Napoleonic line lancers requiring their arms attaching - check - and an ammunition caisson from the same period and country requiring assembly - check. After a thankfully disaster-free use of superglue and a rare trip to Guiseley to score some plastic primer (the car accessory shops in both Ilkley and Otley having recently gone bust as part of the ongoing economic recovery in the UK) the paint has begun to flow once more. Happy days are here again.

There was also wargaming chez James last night as we continued the latest Seven Years War battle of Neue Strassen. It was the difficult middle episode of any trilogy, the characters had been introduced the previous week, the denouement  will be next week, but in the meantime we needed to move things along a bit, and so we did. I drove the Austrian Grenzers from the wood - despite initially having completely misunderstood how this could or should be achieved - but then the bastards reappeared and we had to do the whole thing again. Peter made the fatal mistake of listening to James' advice regarding evasion by his skirmishers and it was predictably a disaster. He then took the far more sensible step of ignoring James' advice about charging his cavalry across the stream and it turned out that it would have been a huge success. Who'd have thought it?

There was a bit of a debate about tactics, specifically the way that armies deployed from march to battle line. The vagaries of Piquet, so good for the combat phase of the game, tend to militate against following the historical precedent (the historical precedent as per James; I have no idea at all what they used to do) because the penalty for getting caught in column of route is so big. I would imagine the best way round that is some sort of scenario specific deployment rule triggered by proximity as was indeed seen in a different context in the recent refight of Mollwitz.

And talk of tactics brings me to the subject of the First World War. I have been reading up on the subject and will return to what I have read in a future post. What strikes me is that detailed familiarity with the tactics of the period is quite important to be able to sensibly play the sort of low level trench raids that I was considering; possibly making them unsuitable for the sporadic pick up games that would occur in the wargaming annexe. Add to that the need for specific terrain, the dullness of the uniforms, and my well known dislike of small scale skirmish games and one has a pretty compelling case for not proceeding. I have therefore placed an order for several sets of figures (British and German) and can report that the project is 'Go'. I also ordered some Celtic chariots at the same time, simply because.

Secrecy Protested

FEAR not, dear love, that I'll reveal
Those hours of pleasure we two steal ;
No eye shall see, nor yet the sun
Descry, what thou and I have done.
No ear shall hear our love, but we
Silent as the night will be ;
The god of love himself (whose dart
Did first wound mine and then thy heart),
Shall never know that we can tell
What sweets in stol'n embraces dwell.
This only means may find it out ;
If, when I die, physicians doubt
What caused my death, and there to view
Of all their judgements which was true,
Rip up my heart, oh ! then, I fear,
The world will see thy picture there.

                         - Thomas Carew

Pot51pouri

That last post was a bit wargaming heavy so perhaps it's time for some waffle and digression. I could do with some light relief as I'm recovering from a truly tedious and futile journey to Birmingham and back through the teeth of Storm Gertrude. When I tell you that the highlight of the trip by a considerable margin was a Greggs sausage roll you will understand exactly how bad it was.

On the way back - during which I had to stand for the whole journey - I finished the latest 87th Precinct novel on my kindle (I have come late to McBain, but am relishing them) and having left my WWI trench research at home, I turned to the first of the Sharpe books. I had bought this in a weak moment when Amazon offered it at a big discount - presumably to tempt me into reading the rest at full price - and never got round to starting it. Having done so I didn't like it and shan't be finishing it. It's by no means impossible to do this sort of thing well (e.g. Patrick O'Brian or C.S. Forester), but this is poor stuff.

On the up side I have been to see Giles Hedley and the Aviators who were rather good. Hedley himself is perhaps too posh to make a totally convincing bluesman - although he did apparently once open shows for both Son House and Mississippi Fred McDowell - but they make a fine noise. They cover all the usual bases: House himself, Howlin' Wolf, Sleepy John Estes, Robert Johnson, Charley Patton and no doubt others I've forgotten; but they do it very well. The drummer, Sam Kelly, is unbelievably cool (and talented; if you've ever listened to Craig Charles you may have heard Cymande, of which Kelly was a founder member) and Hedley is the only man I've ever seen play two harmonicas at once, by nose and by mouth. A very good evening was made even better when I won the raffle.

The younger Miss Epictetus and her boyfriend continue to wreak mayhem across South East Asia. In the latest episode, said boyfriend has apparently chundered over an entire extended Bengali family while they were peacefully enjoying some folkloric Cambodian entertainment. In the version of the story relayed second hand to me by the elder Miss Epictetus, the recipients of his, shall we say, illness were in some unspecified way responsible for their own misfortune, but, whilst I am as prone to stick up for my children as any father, I'm not entirely sure that I buy that.

And now some random music, in no way reflective of my frame of mind:

Kvintessensen

There has been wargaming. The scenario is over at the Olicanalad's Games blog and hopefully some sort of report with photos will appear there as well. Last night saw two turns played through, which couldn't have been more different. On the first Peter, as the Austrians, quickly moved his light troops forwards. It looked as if we were in for a repeat of the recent game where my march columns got caught on the roads before getting a chance to deploy into the buildings. The Austrian cavalry also swept threateningly towards the still limbered Prussian artillery. Then came turn two and everything changed. I got an embarrassing amount of initiative and far from scrambling to occupy the town I was able to march straight through and deploy on the other side. My guns unlimbered and the Austrian cavalry withdrew circumspectly.

On the down side, I did listen to James' advice regarding attacking, casting aside the hard earned lessons of many years experience in the process. I did it essentially because I always like trying out unusual rules and this one was so obscure that a cynic might imagine that he had made it up on the spot. Anyway, for better or worse I am now minus one unit of Hussars while a second is occupying a village and a third has crossed the stream only to find itself outnumbered. If I can continue my run of initiative then maybe I can move some support up across the stream and extricate the cavalry from the village; otherwise advancing Austrian infantry may make things difficult. The forces for both sides are now on table and next week should see some heavy action.

In other hobby news:

• James' new roads are excellent.
• James' new space junk looks exactly like two razor blades stuck back-to-back.
• I have ordered a shed load more Hexon terrain to pick up at Vapnartak.
• My search for a painting project is leaning very much in the direction of WW1 trench raids, even to the extent of having bought a couple of books to read. However, and as readers of wargames blogs know more than anyone, the menu is not the meal and the map is not the territory.

Nearer My God To Thee

"It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness." - Eleanor Roosevelt

The last boardgames of the month have been packed away into the box, eighteen different ones in total. In an (almost) exciting development the last of them hit the table in the dark as an extended power cut blacked out Otley. I am pleased to report that, in the finest tradition of the orchestra on the Titanic, we played on. Our only reaction was to switch to Werewolves, officially because it better suited the gloomy ambiance, but I suspect in reality because, as with at least one of my other hobbies, one's standards inevitably slip when the lights go out.

On with the games:

Boom: Runaway: Odd though enjoyable game about smuggling bombs out of the arsenal before they can be used. It's strangely difficult to explain its rules despite them actually being rather simple.

Codenames: A surprisingly fun game even when the spymaster on your team is crap. Do you hear me? Crap!

Condottiere: I finally found someone who doesn't like this game. However, for any wargamers reading the blog by mistake and who don't know Condottierre, you need to check it out.

CS Files: Or possibly really called Deception: Murder in Hong Kong. A new variant on the deduction/hidden identity shtick although I enjoyed this one. It's a bit random, and the majority side always seems to win, but it doesn't out-stay its welcome. There are some imaginative possible murder weapons, although the old Cluedo favourites also make an appearance.

Elysium: I won this by such a distance that I can't help thinking that I may have been doing something wrong. It's a good game (interesting and innovative mechanics, sufficient player interaction, nice length) that I'd like to play more often, but which has suffered from the constant temptation to play shiny, new games.

Good Cop Bad Cop: Possibly my favourite of its type. I think it's because the roles can change, although having said that the same concept doesn't help Werewolf much.

Hau La: A three dimensional plant building game (as in flowering plants), the best strategy for which is a complete mystery to me. Completely different to anything else and enjoyable.

Lifeboat: This is a nice card game with bluffing, secret objectives and - happily - plenty of duffing up one's fellow players. I liked it, although that's maybe because I armed myself with a flare gun early on and challenged the others to try it if they were hard enough.

Lords of Waterdeep: A very good worker placement game with a notoriously thinly applied theme. One of the players this time round tried to re-introduce the theme by referring to warriors, wizards etc rather than orange, black etc. He got laughed at.

Mission: Red Planet: I'm not sure whether this is a new game or not. It's a steampunk type space exploration effort with little astronauts yomping around Mars and Phobos. It's rather like Libertalia with a very limited number (ten to be precise) of card plays made during the game. I picked up my cards too often; I should have been bolder.

One Night Ultimate Werewolf: At least we didn't play with the Insomniac.

Operation F.A.U.S.T.: Coup meets any number of set collection games. A bit ho hum.

Power Grid: The Stock Companies: It all bears no relation to the real stock market; as someone pointed out this is entirely about insider dealing. On the other hand the base game is not much like how real power grids are built either. The base game is better.

Red7: Cracking card filler; highly luck dependent, but enough decisions to make one feel one is doing something skillful.

Sail to India: This is a very good game, and certainly a complete snip at the half price that Travelling Man were recently selling it at. It's better with four players.

 Skull: A fine, fine game.

Survive: Escape from Atlantis!: I've loved this game for years. It has to be played really viciously.

Tiny Epic Galaxies: This is a good game, all the better for the rules being explained properly this time round, albeit by someone who was playing in our first inept attempt at teaching ourselves. My own performance on this occasion was truly, truly dreadful.

Wot? No Quartermaster General?

Le bonheur des méchants est un crime des dieux

"Cruel leaders are replaced only to have new leaders turn cruel." - Che Guevara

And so to the opera. Opera North have served up another fine slice of verismo in Giordano's Andrea Chenier. Inevitably the tone is black, though speaking personally I can't really see the downside of feckless, ci-devant aristos getting their heads chopped off. This style of late nineteenth century Italian opera is very much to my taste and, especially as well performed as it is here, easily overcomes the somewhat ridiculous plot. The truth referred to is of the emotional variety rather than the realistic.

So what is this plot? It involves two senior Jacobins who are ill-advisedly enamoured of Maddalena de Coigny, one of the very parasites that they have just overthrown. If simply being the daughter of a count wasn't enough to condemn her in the eyes of all right-thinking people (hint: it is) then her behaviour subsequent to the revolution certainly would be. Claiming to be penniless she encourages her maid to work as a prostitute to support them both, only to be revealed as having money and jewels stashed away all the time. These she uses to bribe her way to her final self-indulgent self-sacrifice. She obviously hadn't read his poems.

"Le moment d'être sage est voisin du tombeau." - André Chénier

Mercy sakes alive

Last night we played the convoy scenario from the Lion Rampant rule book. The result was positive for the rules, but negative for my translation of the scenario to the tabletop.

The picture above is extremely uninformative on both counts, but, alas, I still have no camera. My mistake was - as Peter pointed out as soon as he saw the set up - to have the convoy start off table. I did try to ameliorate this, but it didn't work; I should have stuck more closely to the version in the book. The game pitched some undefined central European Holy Roman empire types trying to take a convoy of equally vague  treasure across the table while some Ottoman raiders tried to steal it. We used most of the special rules, and while James' braveheart leader saw off the head sipahi following a personal challenge it was too no avail. He ran out of missile troops and faced being whittled away as he moved forwards without being able to reply.

The rules appealed to me for a number of reasons when I read them, all of which were, I think, validated upon playing them:

•  I could play them with stuff that I already had. Though written for singly based figures there didn't seem any real reason why they shouldn't be played with stands. We simply counted each element of two cavalry or four infantry as two hits and marked units which were carrying one. We had a bit of debate about the required gap between units, but I think that's also no real problem.
• They address a scale of game that appeals to me. I read a number of blog reviews of the rules before playing them and was taken by one observation - sadly, and as usual, I can't remember where from - that historical skirmishes involve dozens of figures and that most 'skirmish wargames' are really pub fights. Now I love a large scale battle in the legendary wargames room of James 'Olicanalad' Roach as much as the next man (1), but I also like the raid/ambush type of game and haven't always been convinced that the same rules - facings, formations, manouvre, etc - work for both levels.
• They give a chance to get out some toys that I have enjoyed modelling, but which don't really fit into a large battle environment. In this case it was wagons and pack animals, but believe me I have some strange stuff stored in the annexe. My Janissary marching band may make it to the table yet.
• They seemed easy to play. Whilst there was the usual rifling through the book looking for the appropriate section, I can't remember playing a new set of rules where we had less retracing of steps because of an obvious mistake we had made. 
• They would appear to be easy to tweak for different periods. I think the melee combat mechanism will work for my Romans in Britain rip off of Pony Wars better than the one we were using, and I've seen, for example, an ECW version.

 So, they were - in my book at least - a success. As ever, I'm not sure when they will be back on the table because James has some rubber roads to test, and the next game in the annexe will be likely to feature the new C&C Napoleonic expansion.

(1) except possibly Sidi Rezegh, which I reserve the right to like slightly less than the next man.

Bennett is back

And so to the cinema. I'm on a roll with my resolution to see more films, although to some extent I'm still in catch-up mode. I have been to see 'The Lady in the Van', and was most entertained. It's been out for a few weeks now and I was the only person in a 250 seat screen, which was somewhat disconcerting; although I'm sure I could get used to private screenings in due course. As regular readers will know I like a bit of Alan Bennett and this is a fine example of his work. He actually makes a cameo himself - possibly to dispel rumours of his death - and for added value the actor playing him doubles up, often appearing on screen with himself. On top of that we have the marvellous Maggie Smith in the title role. Excellent stuff which I was pleased to say included a chunk of untranslated French dialogue.

'Allo, 'Allo

Speaking of readers, this blog's have declined significantly in number. I'm not referring to the arbitrary peak at the time of the sultry woman in uniform video. I'm talking about the fact that the numbers have suddenly halved from the previous normal run rate. This doesn't actually bother me. I am - how shall we say - philosophical. Ceux qui restent sont évidemment la crème de la crème.

And speaking in turn of philosophy, I should like - as a leading Stoic thinker - to offer some advice. This is intended mainly for the boyfriend of the younger Miss Epictetus, but may possibly find some resonance with a few of my remaining readers. It is this: the best way to avoid having one's money stolen from one's trousers while dancing and singing onstage at a ladyboy show is not to take one's trousers off in order to dance and sing on stage at a ladyboy show. You're welcome.

Don't ignore the reaper

I have been delinquent in paying my respects, so here is a catch up:

First, Hawkwind wherein Stacia redefines the word 'dancer':

Second, and needing no introduction:

Third, in admiration of Robert Stigwood's management techniques:

Fourth, Alan Rickman reads Dante to a much younger woman. If it's good enough for Colonel Brandon then it's good enough for me:

      

You better you bet

I've been reading the rules to expansion #5 of C&C Napoleonics and like the look of both the enhanced role for leaders and the Tactician cards. It seems to me that the issue with commanders in C&C is whether to try to mimic actual Napoleonic command structures (see MS Fwa and his little coloured blocks) or just to use them as another fairly abstract game mechanic that adds some complexity and depth. In any event, I'm not sure when the new rules will get a run out, but I have desleeved the old cards and dug out enough sleeves to deal with both the larger Command deck and the Tactician card deck so at least no more expense is required. I complained about the wrong name on the parcel situation and they refunded my postage, so how about a shout out to Boardgameguru for excellent customer service after all.

Right, I'm off to Burton-on-Trent for a couple of days so let's have some music to see me off.

You better bet your life

Sonnet 116

This is a big Shakespeare anniversary year, so let me get in early. This isn't one of the sonnets that he dedicated to his mysterious 'Dark Lady', but if any other dark lady is reading she can assume it's for her.

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no; it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests, and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
   If this be error and upon me proved,
   I never writ, nor no man ever loved. 

                             - William Shakespeare

Let loose the hats of war!

As one would expect I've been watching 'War and Peace'. The production raises many important questions about the human condition and I have been wrestling with one in particular: would I prefer to wear Ade Edmonson's hat or that of Jim Broadbent? I have tassel envy. By the way, Prince Vassily Kuragin is the spitting image of a chap that I used to know very well indeed some thirty five or so years ago. Admittedly he never dressed like that when we went to Griffin Park, which is a real shame now I come to think about it.

"Up the Bees"

Channel 5 have another historical documentary series worth watching, although this one is sadly presented by a proper historian rather than a glove puppet. It's about the Wars of the Roses, despite being bizarrely titled 'Britain's Bloody Crown'. I'm not sure what those in North Britain who weren't directly involved in the affair make of that. Anyway, I found it very interesting, but had some reservations regarding the reconstructions, especially what the various participants had on their heads while fighting. In the case of the main players - York, Warwick (whose father Salisbury was notable mainly for his absence), Somerset etc. - this was nothing at all. No wonder so many of the aristocracy perished during the conflict. In the case of the hoi polloi it was some odd conical efforts that rang no bells whatever with me. I suspect they were props left over from something else, perhaps a programme about Genghis Khan.

In other news,  my copy of Command & Colours Expansion #5 has arrived despite a heroic effort on the part of Royal Mail not to give it to me. In this particular case it wasn't their fault so much as that of the vendor who had put the wrong name on the parcel thereby making it impossible for me to produce valid ID to collect it from the sorting office. A review - of the game, not the inefficiencies of the supplier's dispatch department - will follow in due course.

Say adios to your huevos!

And so to the cinema. I promised myself to watch more films this year and what better place to start than with Quentin Tarantino's latest 'The Hateful Eight'? Even I'm expecting some sort of joke there - and I'm doing the writing - but I'm serious; it was rather good and I thoroughly enjoyed it. The BBFC describe it as containing 'strong bloody violence' and, well, they are spot on. I'd like to suggest that the violence is offset by some sort of moral message, but if it is then it went over my head. I'm not sure that Tarantino does spiritual journeys or redemption, but he does do cracking dialogue and well staged set pieces. And gore.

If I have any quibble it is that there is a bit of a hole in the plot regarding the explanation for the absence of the driver of the first stagecoach to arrive at Minnie's Haberdashery. Considering how tightly plotted the rest of it is, with all loose ends tied up by the end (however implausible the tieing up), that does stick out a bit. And if I had a second quibble it would be that for bounty hunters the Major and Ruth seem remarkably ill-informed about people who might have a bounty on their heads. Minor issues though, that don't stop me recommending it to all but the squeamish.

One of Tarantino's trademarks is playing homage to other films and there have been a number of suggested influences bandied about, most notably 'The Thing', which I've never seen and therefore can't comment about, plus the television shows 'Bonanza' and 'The High Chaparral'. I'd like to offer another: 'Calamity Jane'. Fewer songs and more blood perhaps, but I defy you to watch the film and tell me that I'm not right.

Lots of little soldiers

Indeed so:

Pot50pouri

A number of readers have been kind enough to post appreciative comments on the blog, for which I am very grateful. The reality is that I write entirely for my own benefit. Like many others I am prone to depression and find the creative element of blog writing to be a useful tool in managing my mental health. Hence the self-indulgence of choice of topic and varying degree of seriousness with which they are dealt. There are also periods when inspiration doesn't strike very often. Cyril Connolly famously said that the enemy of good art was the pram in the hall. Overlooking the fact that this isn't art of any quality I am, of course, too old for such concerns. Maybe in my case it is the love of a good woman that causes the problem. Or perhaps the occasional company of several bad women. There are only so many hours in the day.

Anyway, on with the post. There have been mixed reactions to my assertion that we live in a Stalinist society. There was some supporting evidence from Prufrock (see his comments on yesterday's post) and some raised eyebrows elsewhere. For those who are interested I have written more here.

And, in an unexpected return to the ostensible purpose of this blog, I have a couple of pieces of Command & Colours Napoleonics news. Expansion 5 has arrived in the UK and my order has therefore gone in. It won't be delivered very soon however because in keeping with my frugal nature I have only paid for second class delivery. What did arrive in this morning's post were the wooden C&C Napoleonic dice that I ordered before Christmas from Canada on eBay. It was as cheap to order three sets as two and they very kindly included three spares. I am now replete with the bloody things. I shall have to tweak the rules to require throwing handfuls of dice.

Who won the Cold War?

I have been asked to expand my recent comments on the Cold War. Now my only expertise on the subject is the fact that I lived through it, or at least from the invasion of Hungary to the fall of the Berlin Wall, plus of course what I learned at first hand from my tangential role in the US invasion of Grenada (to be absolutely precise my role was in the aftermath).

However, I am confident of one thing: whilst the Cold War was presented as a struggle between democracy and Stalinism which was won by the former, that is not what actually happened. In fact the Stalinists won and are ruling over us now, with their classic tools of surveillance, control of the media, propaganda and suppression of dissent.

"The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion." - Camus

Events of the year (slight return)

My review of the year for 2015 passed unmarked except for a kind word from Tony Kitchen and a thumbs up from the big, bouncy woman herself. However, after a period a period of reflection and self-criticism I must add two honourable mentions to the previously published shortlist for event of the year.

The first was winning MS Fwa's mug competition, a rare moment of success in an otherwise under-achieving twelve months. The second is slightly more random; I nominate the occasion when a van driver knocked on the front door of my house and asked me to accept delivery of a coffin because he couldn't get any answer from the undertaker next door.

Here's some music that's as old as I am:

License My Roving Hands

 Let us start 2016 as we very much mean to continue:

To His Mistress Going To Bed

  Come, Madam, come, all rest my powers defy,

Until I labour, I in labour lie.

The foe oft-times having the foe in sight,

Is tir’d with standing though he never fight.

Off with that girdle, like heaven’s Zone glistering,

But a far fairer world encompassing.

Unpin that spangled breastplate which you wear,

That th’eyes of busy fools may be stopped there.

Unlace yourself, for that harmonious chime,

Tells me from you, that now it is bed time.

Off with that happy busk, which I envy,

That still can be, and still can stand so nigh.

Your gown going off, such beauteous state reveals,

As when from flowery meads th’hill’s shadow steals.

Off with that wiry Coronet and shew   

The hairy Diadem which on you doth grow:

Now off with those shoes, and then safely tread

In this love’s hallow’d temple, this soft bed.

In such white robes, heaven’s Angels used to be

Received by men; Thou Angel bringst with thee

A heaven like Mahomet’s Paradise; and though

Ill spirits walk in white, we easily know,

By this these Angels from an evil sprite,

Those set our hairs, but these our flesh upright.

    Licence my roving hands, and let them go,   

Before, behind, between, above, below.

O my America! my new-found-land,

My kingdom, safeliest when with one man mann’d,

My Mine of precious stones, My Empirie,

How blest am I in this discovering thee!

To enter in these bonds, is to be free;

Then where my hand is set, my seal shall be.

    Full nakedness! All joys are due to thee,

As souls unbodied, bodies uncloth’d must be,

To taste whole joys. Gems which you women use

Are like Atlanta’s balls, cast in men’s views,

That when a fool’s eye lighteth on a Gem,

His earthly soul may covet theirs, not them.

Like pictures, or like books’ gay coverings made

For lay-men, are all women thus array’d;

Themselves are mystic books, which only we   

(Whom their imputed grace will dignify)

Must see reveal’d. Then since that I may know;

As liberally, as to a Midwife, shew

Thy self: cast all, yea, this white linen hence,

There is no penance due to innocence.

    To teach thee, I am naked first; why then

What needst thou have more covering than a man. 

                               
                                                - John Donne

We ourselves must walk the path

So, what happened this year then? I should first apologise for the content of the blog, which was consistently neither relevant nor interesting. If it's any consolation, the comments that I have left on other people's blogs have generally been even worse; bloggers must wince when they see my username appear. All I can do is quote Rudyard Kipling: "You must learn to forgive a man when he's in love. He's always a nuisance."

Anyway, on to the much sought after Epictetus annual awards:

• Opera of the year:  'The Flying Dutchman' with an honourable mention for  'Tales of Hoffman'
• Theatre of the year: 'Beryl' with an honourable mention for 'The History Boys'.
• Gig of the year: I've seen an awful lot of excellent gigs, but it's a toss up between  Nils Lofgren and Tom Russell with an honourable mention for Gigspanner (which good as it was I don't seem to have posted about before), plus of course the Ilkley Blues Festival for sheer value for money.
• Film of the year: 'Lunchbox' with a dishonourable mention for 'Spectre'; once again I haven't actually been to see that many films.
• Book of the year: City of Wisdom and Blood, the second in the Fortune of War series by Robert Merle, the first volume of which was my book of the year for 2014. There's a pattern developing.
• Wargame of the year: There's been a lot of Seven Years War this year and I'm going to go for the large game in the summer where James got all his Prussians and Russians out on the table.
• Boardgame of the year: Quartermaster General, no doubt at all, but there have been a lot of very good ones among the 265 plays of 134 different games that I've managed this year.
• Cake of the year: I think pear and chocolate although the elder Miss Epictetus is a firm champion of the spiced fruit loaf.
• Event of the year: I'm tempted to cheat and choose every time that the big, bouncy woman came and sat on my lap; or possibly the Otley Wool Fair (I really enjoyed that day); or perhaps a truly memorable afternoon in the Victoria Hotel (definitely my pub of the year). However, instead I'm opting for a walk up to Top Withens that I took at the end of August, during which we got wet, the past was laid to rest and the future mapped out. As Christina Rossetti wrote in the poem of the year:

I loved you first: but afterwards your love 

Outsoaring mine, sang such a loftier song