Help the Aged

 "Old age is the most unexpected of things that can happen to a man." - Trotsky

"To know how to grow old is the master work of wisdom, and one of the most difficult chapters in the great art of living." - Herman Melville

At twenty a man is a peacock, at thirty a lion, at forty a camel, at fifty a serpent, at sixty a dog, at seventy an ape, at eighty a nothing at all. Baltasar Gracian
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/b/baltasargr150625.html?src=t_sixty

At twenty a man is a peacock, at thirty a lion, at forty a camel, at fifty a serpent, at sixty a dog, at seventy an ape, at eighty a nothing at all.
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/b/baltasargr150625.html?src=t_sixty

"The tragedy of growing old is not that one is old, but that one is young." - Ruth Rendell

At twenty a man is a peacock, at thirty a lion, at forty a camel, at fifty a serpent, at sixty a dog, at seventy an ape, at eighty a nothing at all.
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/b/baltasargr150625.html?src=t_sixty

I Feel Fine

Some music seems in order today of all days. I have a full six decades to choose from, and selecting from that lot could easily take me another sixty years. I've gone with this one partly because of the past - it reminds me of people and places that I shall never see again, but which have understandably been much in my thoughts this week - and partly because of the present.

You are my fate

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

                  - e.e. cummings

And I went to the crossroad, mama

The last time we played the Seven Years War it was a playtest of some roads, which turned out to be excellent. This time around it was to playtest a whole raft of rule changes. Were they as good? Well, they were certainly better than my generalship and my dice rolling. Things started going wrong from pretty much the first thing I did. A Prussian unit moved into range of a unit of Russian Grenadiers, I turned a Musket Reload card and so I fired. In the exchange my unit ended up at half strength and shaken, and it was all downhill from there. James has blogged here about it - with pictures of the situation as it now stands - so I won't say much more. I still think the Russians have a good chance of winning - more troops and a lot more morale chips - but it won't be the most glorious of victories. And the officers are dreadful so a failed Major Morale check will probably see a lot of that morale eaten up.

James ascribes the way the game has developed to Peter having gone down to the crossroads and sold his soul to the devil. Perhaps, perhaps not. His dice rolls weren't particularly good, and mine weren't especially bad; it was simply that his were consistently better than mine, and when I did beat him it was only just and not enough to cause any damage. Such is life.  Anyway, to the new rules:

Flank support: In Piquet units get a bonus when testing morale for having flank support. Under the previous interpretation (I have no idea whether this was the core rules or some house rule that grown up over the years) it was almost literally impossible not to receive the maximum amount. Famously encircled historical figures such as Custer or Gordon would probably have counted as having two secure flanks the way we used to do it. This has been swept away with a much simpler and harsher version of which I approve. It will certainly encourage both maintaining one's own formation and trying to puncture and then turn enemy lines

Routing: This has again been simplified. The anomaly whereby better armies ran away faster has been removed, the disruptive effect from the movement of routers is more logical and it is consistent with the ability to provide the flank support mentioned above. Again I approve, although I suspect that virtually no units will now ever be rallied from rout.

Overhead fire by artillery: The rules for this have been clarified - essentially in terms of James' current terrain setup - and one can now, under certain circumstances, fire over troops on the same level as oneself. I can't speak to the historical accuracy of this, but it will make artillery more useful in attack.

Infantry Arc of Fire: This has been reduced from 45 degrees to straight ahead only. I think there may be a few problems with this:

• It is now possible - as we proved - to initiate melee against a unit that one can't fire at because it's out of arc; makes no sense to me.
• It makes the Prussians' ability to oblique at full speed even more powerful.
• I envisage units being manoeuvred to all sorts of peculiar angles so that they can shoot without being shot at, rather changing the nature of the game.

 So, mostly a thumbs up from me. I imagine that the new rules on flanks and routing will, when coupled with previously introduced changes to morale challenges, make games end a lot more quickly. We shall see.

I'm worried now

But I won't be worried long

"Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." - Matthew 6:34

From the age of uniformity

"Sameness is the mother of disgust, variety the cure" - Petrarch

The main purpose behind the Great War project was to give me something to paint whenever I felt like painting. As it happens I have indeed been in the zone for a few days and so things have moved forwards. Inevitably this has required further thought on a variety of practical issues related to the rules and how it will all be manifested in a game - I'm thinking for example of basing conventions for crewed weapons - but it has also made me think about the aesthetics. Odd, perhaps, to focus on that aspect when everything is khaki and grey, but it's a side of things that does bother me.

My personal approach to painting has always been to do what is required to make the figures look OK when viewed en masse on the tabletop, and frankly not to waste time or energy by doing any more than that. I have continued with that approach into this project. The relatively small number of poses often available for figures has also never bothered me that much. Indeed for the rather stylised manner in which I have been playing Napoleonics (C&C rules on a hex/offset square grid) it seemed to me that uniformity in the ranks actually enhanced the look of the thing. Not so with WWI, my first foray into anything remotely modern for more than forty years. What one wants here, I think, and even when viewed at arms length, is the opposite: heterogeneity. I don't think the poses have to be radically different from each other - there are only so many things that one is likely to do with a rifle on a battlefield - just sufficiently so that the brain doesn't identify them all as identical as the eye scans across them.

I have no problem with doing a bit of figure remodelling; it scratches the same itch as painting. Sometime I shall have to post a photo of the model of a Napoleonic hussar dancing with a lady of dubious virtue that I wasted some time putting together a few years ago.  Anyway, as previously reported I have been chopping up Tommies throwing Mills bombs to try to get some variety, which as a consequence has left me with some customised riflemen as well. All in all the British should be OK. The problem is ordinary German riflemen. For perhaps obvious reasons most late war German infantry produced in plastic are Stormtroopers. I shall either have to up the level of my modelling skills, buy some metal figures or let the Germans do all the attacking.

More matter with less art

Well, I've had a good weekend, but you'll just have to take that on trust. I am tempted to write about my kettle blowing up, but although it was somewhat disconcerting when it happened, calm was soon restored; sadly not by the traditional British method of having a cup of tea, but restored nonetheless.

I am therefore going to break the habit of a lifetime and post a photo of some figures that I have completed. Not for the painting - which is, what's the word, crap - but for the conversions, which I rather like. The background is that I wanted my bombing section to be, well, bombing, but didn't want them all lined up on the table in identical poses. The lack of a decent camera makes it difficult to see the detail (it helps if you click on the photo to enlarge it), but nevertheless here they are:

The one on the left is the original, the others are the conversions.

Among the highlights of the weekend was seeing a concert by Martin Carthy, doyen of the British folk scene. Now I can stick my finger in my ear with the best of them and so I really enjoyed it. Here he is from nearly thirty years ago:

Do your worst, for I will do mine

And so to the wargaming table, and about time too. However, although we brought to an end the recent barren spell, we didn't break the sequence of somewhat disappointing scenarios. We had the Seven Years War battle where no one wanted to attack (least of all me); then there was our first try of Lion Rampant where is was obvious from the very beginning that the convoy should have started on the table instead of off; just before our break we played an X-Wing game where the rebels (or possibly the Empire - I am hazy on the details of all this) didn't have the manoeuvrability to shoot down the razor blades; and now we had another Lion Rampant set-up which wasn't robust enough to cope with a series of extraordinarily bad activation rolls by the Ottomans very early on.

The 18th century stalemate was just one of those things, but the others were caused by unfamiliarity with the rules. In the case of Lion Rampant I continue to be impressed with their simplicity and playability. We need to make some clarifications and/or tweaks because of using multiple instead of individually based figures, but that's no real issue. In this particular case I think I hadn't sufficiently adjusted the basic messenger scenario (a) to allow for the larger table. If I were to replay it I think I would add to each side a unit of cavalry who had been sent ahead to seize control of the bridge and I would restrict the crossbowmen to the ramparts of the town wall, perhaps giving them a range extension in return. I'd also be specific that the Timar's wild charge needed to be tested for. Clearly none of that means anything to anyone in the absence of OOBs, scenario notes, maps or photographs, but it's my blog and I don't care.

In other wargaming news I have moved on to painting a British bombing section. The figures that I bought only contain two bombing poses (b) so I have been busy with the Stanley knife and the superglue. I'm quite pleased with the results, although as usual with 20mm plastic we find that kneeling figures would be seven feet tall were they to stand up. I particularly like a couple of my conversions which look as if they are throwing the grenades downwards into a trench. On top of all that the Great War project got a further boost with first of my second hand Ospreys arriving. It looks very new for a previously-loved book and, even better, has printing on both sides of every single page.

(a) we actually played the messenger as a kidnapped princess solely in order to get some use out of my kidnapped princess figure, one of many I own to not yet have seen any action.
(b) both of them pretty stereotypical; one 'third man throwing back to the wicket keeper' pose (first figure second row here) and one 'off-spinner planting his left leg on the popping crease' (second figure top row here)

Aristaeus, c'est moi

And so to the opera. I have been for a bit of bouffe, in the form of an amateur production of Offenbach's 'Orphée aux enfers' by the Leeds Gilbert and Sullivan Society. There are many musical excerpts from opera that have entered the popular consciousness: Nessun Dorma from 'Turandot', the Toreador Song from Carmen, Figaro's aria from 'The Barber of Seville' and many more. But I would wager that this operetta contains the best known; a piece of music that everyone could hum (after a fashion), name (wrongly) and do the dance (badly). These, on the other hand, dance it well:

This production was set in two competing underwear companies, a conceit which worked very well indeed. I especially liked the idea that the firm representing Olympus and the living world only produced grey clothes while those of the underworld were colourful in the extreme; Pluto's helpers (Pants People) were dressed as a sort of Victorian Steampunk meets Teletubbies mashup. As Nietzsche put it "In heaven, all the interesting people are missing".

The orchestra - whose limited numbers only really became apparent during the overture - were very good, the ensemble singing was excellent and while the singing of the principals was perhaps patchy, some (Diana and Jupiter in particular) were very fine indeed. A special mention must go to Jason Weightman as Pluto, partly for his kilt, but also for being the only one to do the splits during the Infernal Gallop. I had never seen this company before and didn't know what to expect, but I have to say that it was a highly enjoyable night out.

And, more relevantly than you might imagine, here's Roger Moore talking about tortoises:

Curiouser and curiouser

So, I was in the Great Wen for a 60th birthday party, it being the (academic) year for such things. I have spent six months avoiding them as much as possible, but this one sneaked through my defences. A number of other survivors from Bradford in the 1970s - including this blog's Luxembourg correspondent - obviously had nothing else to do either and it was bona to vada their dolly old eeks for the first time in many years or, in some cases, decades. I wouldn't normally write a blog post about a private function, but the aforementioned visitor from the Grand Duchy positively insisted that I should, and he does represent a rather high proportion of the blog's readership. In addition there was a fine example of the synchronicity that fuels so much of my writing. So, apologies to everyone else for the self indulgence; I promise to return very shortly to being self indulgent in the usual way.

So, first things first, I can confirm that all Eurocrats present remained awake throughout, maintaining a steady stream of pithy, albeit unsolicited, advice to the DJ from the shadows at the edge of the dance floor. It was a 'surprise party', and there was some debate as to exactly how surprised the birthday boy was. In the end the consensus was that if he had known about it then he'd never have worn that shirt. What was no surprise was that large quantities of drink were taken, leading one former student colleague of mine to corner me for what seemed like several hours while he explained that his life had been ruined by his parents' failure to christen him Roy. So far so normal.

What raised the evening above the run of the mill was the decision of the wife of the man in whose honour the party was thrown, to dress as Alice in Wonderland and dance on the stage to 'Living Next Door to Alice', a song recently featured on this very blog, or, to be more precise, to the Gompie version, in which the crowd - represented in this case by the partygoers - periodically take up the refrain to enquire loudly, brusquely and in the demotic as to Alice's bona fides.

Who indeed?

There is a perfectly rational explanation for all of this, but I have trespassed on your patience for too long and will not therefore bore you any more by elucidating further.

By the way, there's a rumour that there will be wargaming this week, so watch this space.

What can I say...

How can we hang on to a dream?

Seek the lofty

I am off to the Big Smoke for a flying visit and thought I would bring things up to date before I left, just in case anything happens while I'm there that's worth writing about. First, there has been a satisfactory conclusion of sorts to the latest round of the Osprey book-ordering saga. Waterstones have acknowledged that a refund of £0 wasn't going to cut the mustard and have given me back all my money plus £5 as a goodwill gesture. I have immediately reinvested it in second hand copies of the same books from AbeBooks. They're no cheaper than the price of new ones, but surely I can assume that they already exist and are printed on both sides of the page; can't I?

Second, I have been to see The Matchmaker, the play by Thornton Wilder which was the original of the musical Hello Dolly. It was enjoyable enough, but also proved a truism that I have mentioned before: comedy is the hardest form of acting to do well, and farce is the hardest form of comedy to pull off successfully.

Third, and speaking of comedy/farce, I have been to see Hail, Caesar!, which was amusing, if somewhat unfocussed. It may presuppose a knowledge on the part of viewers not just about classic era Hollywood, but also of the life and works of Marx (Karl not Groucho), but 50% of the audience at the screening I was at were definitely experts in the latter; I can't speak for the lady sitting a couple of rows behind me.

Fourth and best, I have been to see Thea Gilmore. I have reported on seeing her before - indeed she was the recipient of the eagerly sought after Epictetus gig of the year award in 2014 - so I won't say too much this time. Suffice it to say that she and husband Nigel Stonier were as good as ever, still performing an intriguing mixture of her own stuff, plus covers of songs by bands such as Guns 'n' Roses and the Damned.

And there we may rehearse most obscenely

In a moment of boredom some weeks ago I installed the featured post widget on blogger. It has been interesting for me at least to look back through previous entries, but it seems that a number of illustrations from the early days of the blog have mysteriously disappeared. I say mysteriously, but I think we can safely assume that some incompetence on my part lies behind it; indeed my working hypothesis is that it has something to do with what happened when I set up on Google+. I shall test this out by trying to track a picture through the system.

So, in order to get a good look at what goes on behind the scenes, here's Agnetha.

Se encuentra en todas partes y en ninguna a la vez

It was one hundred years ago today that Pancho Villa raided Columbus, New Mexico. I shall commemorate the occasion by not wargaming the Mexican Revolution, something I have been successfully doing for a long time now.

There has however been some small progress in wargaming in general. Not in the Great War project itself, but more in a sort of deck clearing to allow space to crack on with the next step in it - a British bombing section I think. Items completed have been:

• French Napoleonic 3rd Lancers and an artillery caisson
• Three crap (‡) Celtic chariots
• Ninety markers to allow To the Strongest! to be played on the Hexon terrain
• And that's it

So not much then. What can I say? I'm a busy man.

Perhaps the markers would bear some further discussion. Following suggestions received, I spent some time lurking in garden centres and pet shops checking out possible options among the bags of gravel, but in the end I decided that if one wants something approximately the size, shape and weight of a penny coin then probably the easiest thing to do is to use a penny coin. Currently the annexe has a Lion Rampant scenario on the table, but once it's eventually played I think the next game to be set up will be TtS!. There are two choices. I always could use the crap (‡) chariots and the Hamian archers, both for the first time, in a Romans vs Celts game. Or alternatively, there's the Wars of the Roses. The attraction here is that old favourite, Tewkesbury. I've played it many times with bases perched unsteadily on top of hills strung together to represent the ridge. Now I have the wherewithal to make a proper ridge and it would only seem right to do so. And what of the new expansion to C&C Napoleonics? It will keep.

I have been advised by Waterstones that Osprey are now unable ever to fulfill my order of books on the Great War which were previously reported here as arriving with only the odd number pages printed on. Both books involved are naturally still shown as being in stock on Osprey's own website. My inclination is to blame the publishers rather than the retailer for the whole farrago, although Waterstones' offer of a refund of £0 following the cancellation of the order hasn't been received terribly well at Casa Epictetus.

And finally let me draw your attention to two other (proper) wargaming blogs. Over at Prometheus in Aspic, General Fwa has a very neat idea for rivers, which I like the look of. And at Wargaming Miscellany there are pictures of old rule sets that I had forgotten all about, but which take me right back to a different time and place.

(‡)  © The Wench

Partings Welded Together

“It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade.” - Charles Dickens

"Softly, softly"

And so to the theatre. The West Yorkshire Playhouse are once again on trend. In deciding for the second time in a couple of years to tackle a long piece of nineteenth century literature that Hollywood has fairly recently made into a film, they have chosen one in which the issue of forgiveness (or lack of it) looms large. Their version of Great Expectations is, how shall we say, pretty average. On the plus side, top marks must be given to the child actors playing the young Pip, Estella and Herbert Pocket who were all much better than one was entitled to expect. And then there was the set, which looked fantastic, a sort of rising wave of slatted wood across the stage space. However, whilst it served very well for the prison hulks - lots of hands waving symbolically through it - it didn't seem to have much relevance to the other two and a half hours and appeared to cause the actors real problems moving around on it. It rotated often and there seems to have been some intermittent malfunction causing delays to the start of each act which, when the play was originally three hours long anyway, gave rise to lots of people having to leave before the end to get their trains and buses. I moved for the second act to be nearer the door for a quick getaway and was advised that the seat I now sat in had a 'restricted view' and wasn't recommended. In fact it had an unrestricted view in that one could see the stage hands at work setting up the next scene behind the revolving scenery. Note to designer: keep it simple next time.


So, overall, don't bother. Instead watch one of the films (I enjoyed the most recent, which has Helena Bonham-Carter hamming it up as Miss Havisham) or, even better, read the book.

 “I went home, with new matters for my thoughts, though with no relief from the old.”

The score never interested me, only the game

So said Mae West. And who am I to argue with her?

"Is that an expansion in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?"

With all that in mind here are February's games in which, for me, the taking part was the main thing.

Blood Bound: In a twist on what usually happens in hidden role games, the information gathering and deduction went well and the red team correctly identified and assassinated the leader of the blue team, only to find that the Inquisitor had placed a true curse on the red team's leader (an Alchemist; can you believe it?) and so had won the game himself. The moral of all this is to play with an even number of players. I hope that's clear.

Click Clack Lumberjack: A real guilty pleasure, despite my complete lack of motor skills and hand eye coordination.

Codenames: For some reason people aren't that good at judging whether they are the best person to take the role of giving the clues before they volunteer so to do.

Condottiere: As you know, I love this game.

Deception: Murder in Hong Kong: This is still good fun, but a pattern is starting to appear. If there are any more than, say, six players then the individual investigators start to feel that there is no risk in having a guess, so they do - and the game always ends very quickly.

Diamonds: "Goodness! What lovely diamonds." "Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie." - Mae West again. This is a card game - with an only slightly modified normal pack of cards - spiced up with, unsurprisingly, some diamonds and some of those little cardboard screens that are all the rage at the moment. Personally I think the available strategies are a bit limited and are easily learned. It may be that replayability will only come from the luck of the deal. You'd be better off with Bridge or, a personal favourite, Solo.

Dragon's Gold: This is another game played with cards, gems and some of those little cardboard screens that are all the rage at the moment. It also involves negotiation, which was conducted at a pretty pitiful level of incompetence in the game that I played. My colour blindness made me even worse than everyone else; that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

Elysium: Good game with an interesting primary mechanism.

Geistesblitz 2.0: Involves the need for quick reactions and pattern recognition; I was no good at all.

Gold West: Straight up Euro, very thinly themed around prospecting for precious metals in the Old West. I liked it a lot.

The Grizzled: A co-op game about surviving the Great War. Great fun, but surely impossible to win at. I am assured that someone knows someone who claimed to have heard about a game which was successfully completed.

Hau La: A 3D shrub growing game which I like more than virtually anyone else, but at which I am no good.

Imperial Settlers: An interesting, but weakly themed, slightly asymmetrical engine-building game. I won, as Genghis Khan, by developing lots and lots of villages which didn't seem to make much sense. I enjoyed it though.

Inhabit the Earth: As with the similarly themed Evolution this is ostensibly based on Darwinism, but bears very little resemblance to anything that the man himself would recognise. This is the better game of the two though.

Isle of Skye: A nice, balanced game with interesting gameplay that doesn't outstay its welcome.

Lords of Waterdeep: I've always liked this game. For the first time we played the expansion which, to my astonishment at least, made the theme come slightly alive. Given that this game is notoriously abstract to play - despite all the garish artwork and attempts at backstory - that is noteworthy.

Murano: Another game I'd enjoyed on my first play and was glad see on the table again. As someone once said: "I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure."

Paperback: Er, ditto. This is like Scrabble, but fun.

Rattus: A game tastefully themed around the Black Death, which I played twice. The second time was with the Pied Piper expansion and the correct rules. It was getting the rules right which probably made the most difference. It's actually rather good: plenty of strategy especially as one approaches the endgame, everyone in with a chance right to the end and not too long a playing time. Recommended.

Red7: I bought a copy of this for myself because I wanted to try the advanced rules and, finally, I did. I think they improve what was already a good game, and certainly give players a lot more options to think about.

Ticket to Ride: This is a great game, and I can't for the life of me understand why some people turn their nose up at it. We played the Asia map and, to great effect, tried the team variant. It is so frustrating to watch your teammate blithely using your carefully collected cards to build a link from nowhere to nowhere.

The mould of the body and mind

"Always be a poet, even in prose." - Baudelaire

A couple of readers have offered me some tips and pointers regarding the blog. The first - well-intentioned no doubt, but someone who perhaps isn't as au fait with the world of toy soldiers as he might be - says cut out all the stuff about teak varnish. The second says avoid anything risqué and include more poetry. Excellent advice from both I think. Varnish I can take or leave, but I love poetry, and have always felt - and I say this in the greatest humility - that I shared certain traits with some of the great English poets of the early nineteenth century. Byron was disreputable, Shelley was left-wing, and Keats was extremely fond of Fanny.

Miss Brawne

So, here is a quote from a letter that Keats wrote to his fiancée:

 "My dear Girl I love you ever and ever and without reserve. The more I have known you the more have I lov'd. In every way - even my jealousies have been agonies of Love, in the hottest fit I ever had I would have died for you. I have vex'd you too much. But for Love! Can I help it? You are always new. The last of your kisses was ever the sweetest; the last smile the brightest."

 "Tout ce qui n'est point prose, est vers; et tout ce qui n'est point vers, est prose." - Molière

 

Pot53pouri

The hunt for za'atar is over. The bearded hipsters of Otley have transferred their attention to something else for long enough for Waitrose to be able to restock their shelves. It's time for some baked eggs, or perhaps some flatbread, or possibly both. That is obviously the highlight of the week, but there has been other news. I saw a goldcrest in the garden, and given that previous live fauna spotted there was a rat, it was rather wonderful.

I mentioned in the context of the 600th anniversary of Agincourt that I had taken a very interesting online course about it. I've watched a few more since on a variety of subjects and have always found them worthwhile, although the one on gravity was pretty heavy going. Anyway, there's another potentially relevant one starting next week called England in the Time of King Richard III, which among other things promises to look at the soldier's experience in battle during the Wars of the Roses. It can be found here.

I've struggled with my WWI reading, and not just because Osprey find printing on both sides of the page to be too challenging. I gave up - at least temporarily - on Wyndham Lewis because I didn't warm to him at all; he seems to be attempting to give pretentiousness a bad name, which is my job thank you very much. I turned with relief to the next in the 87th Precinct novels by Ed McBain only to find that was no bloody good either. I shall persevere with the series because I've enjoyed the others so much, but I hope they buck up soon. In the meantime I can feel some P. G. Wodehouse coming on; he won't disappoint.

And finally, I have been meaning to post this link about unbalanced dice ever since it appeared on the Piquet mailing list. It certainly explains a lot. As my old mucker Sophocles put it: "The dice of Zeus will always fall luckily."

Uhh, one, two, three, four...

'Jeremy Hunt, Jeremy Hunt

Can't think of a rhyme for Jeremy Hunt'

Still no wargaming, painting or anything remotely relevant to the purpose of the blog, but there has been yet more music. Live albums used to be all the rage. Think "Get Yer Ya Ya's Out", "Live at Leeds", "Live at Folsom Prison" or "Stupidity". Double live albums were particularly popular and I owned a few on vinyl. I think I'd have to go for Dylan's "Before the Flood" as my favourite, but being the age that I am Lynyrd Skynyrd's "One More from the Road" would also feature highly (I can't think about it without shouting out "Give me a T for Alabama"; possibly that's just me.). I even owned a Judas Priest double live album, although in my defence I won it in a raffle at a Bradford working man's club on my 8,000th birthday, never actually listened to it and long ago gave it to my ex-wife's sister's first husband. However, despite all that intimate association with the format, I've never been present at the recording of one - until now (1).

I have been to see the Jon Palmer Acoustic Band record a live album and very good it was too, a band that usually plays to a couple of dozen people in pubs relishing a sold out venue full of, let's face it, friends and family. But it was a great atmosphere, they played their brand of uptempo folk with passion and ability, and they were very rude about Jeremy Hunt and the rest of the 'posh boys talking bollocks'. What's not to like? Mostly JP's own compositions, but with an idiosyncratic cover of 'Dirty Old Town' and a moving one of 'Meet on the Ledge'. I look forward to the CD, a free copy of which was included in the ticket price.

(1) Like so much on this blog, that statement isn't actually true. I was in the audience when the Ramones recorded "It's Alive" - New Year's Eve 1977 at the Rainbow, Finsbury Park, and what a night that was. See if you can spot me. Gabba Gabba Hey.

The devil hath the power to assume a pleasing shape

No wargaming to report, simply because there hasn't been any. There has been more music though, starting with the excellent - and Otley based - Yan Tan Tether. Apart from doing the second version of 'Wayfaring Stranger' that I'd heard in three days and an always welcome Jake Thackery cover, they performed 'The Widow'. I urge you all, but especially the knitting wench, to listen to the lyrics.

Pot52pouri

About a month ago I ordered a couple of Ospreys for my WWI project. After a few days I was told that I'd have to wait a month because they were print on demand, which is in itself an interesting use of the English language. Anyway, they turned up today and in both cases only the odd pages are there; all the even pages are blank. Clearly the print on demand bit refers to the fact that if one doesn't explicitly demand that they be printed properly, then they won't be.

In other news, I've been to Sheffield. Nothing of any significance whatsoever to report except that I did have the by now traditional Greggs sausage roll.

In other, other news there has been music. The ever reliable Dr Bob and the Bluesmakers were as good as usual and I also saw Karin Grandal Park and Rosie Clegg, an excellent folkie type duo mainly playing Grandal Park's own compositions. As regular readers will know I have an aversion to the banjo, but if it is ever going to be acceptable anywhere it's in playing 'Wayfaring Stranger', and a very nice version they did. The original stuff was very good - if a tad depressing in tone - and sat well with covers of songs by such as Buffy St Marie, Richard and Linda Thompson, Mary Chapin Carpenter and a lovely take on Boo Hewerdine's 'Patience of Angels'.

In other, other, other news I went to see the National Theatre live broadcast of 'As You Like It'. The elder Miss Epictetus declared it even better than 'A Winters Tale', but I'm not sure whether the better play made up for the absence of Dame Judi. The conceit of hauling lots of office desks and chairs up into the air to create the Forest of Arden worked wonderfully well, but it was never explained what they were doing on stage in the first place. And a mention must go to the casting of Leon Annor as Charles the wrestler. When he bellyflopped onto Orlando, both audiences - in theatre and cinema - audibly winced. Not the sort of chap you want to sit next to on a plane though.

Jeremiah 51:21 - tempting, but no

"There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." - Herman Melville

I have been painting again, somehow overcoming the emotional scars from the hurtful words of the big, bouncy woman. The first, small, batch of the Great War project is now complete and I am reasonably pleased with them. I went for a light khaki, packs and webbing in yellow ochre and leather as appropriate (or at random depending on how you look at it) and then a heavy brushing all over with Ronseal teak varnish. I think the end result could have done with being a bit greener, but then again - and I'm not sure if I have ever mentioned this before - I am severely colour blind so my green is probably different to everyone else's. The varnish has highlighted that I wasn't as thorough in removing the mould lines as I should have been, especially from their helmets. I'll have to think of some way of testing that prior to painting; it appeared OK to the naked eye. Anyway they will look fine at arm's length on the table. Extrapolating out my current rate of progress I shall be able to stage a game to commemorate the centenary of the Armistice.

Just in case anyone is interested I normally only use the teak varnish on horses; other figures get beech. I also rashly bought some mahogany, but have never found an occasion to use it. For the Germans I thinking of perhaps a black wash of some sort will be best; I shall have to experiment. I have also broken with the habit of a lifetime and gone for a matt finish for this period. I've always been a gloss man - they are toy soldiers when all is said and done - but it didn't seem right here.

The chariots have continued to receive attention in the background along with the French line lancers. They, the chariots, seem to get worse every time I go back to them, but I don't have the energy to take them apart now. They will be finished and used, and I am tempted to buy another box, just to cut them up and reassemble them in a sensible looking way to prove it can be done. And as someone once wisely said in the comments to this blog "You can never have enough chariots".

The course of true love never did run smooth

And so to the opera. In fact I've been two nights in a row, which is excessive even for me, although not unprecedented. First up was 'Cosi fan tutte' by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, a young composer who shows much promise. The work wasn't performed much for many years because it was considered immoral; to modern eyes the failing of its story is more due to misogyny than lack of morals. The title means roughly 'women are all the same', an irritatingly immature attitude for a major work of art to profess. The music is sublime though and, as usual, was done full justice by the orchestra of Opera North and the singers. The production was a revival from a decade or so ago, with all the action taking place in a giant camera obscura. This isn't as odd as it sounds and works rather well, but I can vividly remember the tutting from behind me years ago when it was first staged. As an aside there is also a moment to please all those of you - those many, many of you - who appear to have a thing for women dressed in male military attire.

All that the performance of Donizetti's 'L'elisir d'amore' has in common is that it is also a revival, it made me think of 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' (1) and it seems to set out to demonstrate that women are fickle and shallow. So quite a lot in common then. Notwithstanding Mozart's genius, my own taste runs much more to bel canto and so I actually preferred this. Plus it's funnier and has a hot air balloon. Again this is a fine interpretation, with everyone on top form, although I'm going to pick out the female chorus for particular praise.

Returning to Mozart, he and/or Da Ponte might have had somewhat dodgy views on sexual equality, but they did at least give us a character, Despina, who overtly challenges the idea that the rich and idle are entitled to hot chocolate while the workers have to make do with the aroma. Right on, sister.


(1) I have read that the plot of 'Cosi fan tutte' more closely resembles 'Cymbeline', but despite a quote from that play appearing on this very blog less than a fortnight ago I've never actually seen it. There is a production on a the Globe this summer, so perhaps I'll have a chance then.

Good game it is

“Many of the truths that we cling to depend on our point of view.” – Yoda

Presumably everyone reads James' blog, especially after all my recommendations. You will know therefore that he has had a bit of a mid-life crisis and strayed - hopefully temporarily - from the righteous path of historical wargaming. This has led him to buy lots of models based on a long-forgotten science fiction franchise, to use his superb modelling skills to turn razor blades into things that look like razor blades and to forget the word transceiver. So it was that earlier in the week we found ourselves playing X-Wing.

This was the second time I'd played the game and despite the fact that it ticks very few of my boxes I think it's a very good, very enjoyable game. I don't like sci-fi, I've never seen any of the films so don't know the back story, I have philosophic objections to collectible card games (admittedly partly based on the fact that I didn't think of such a brilliant money making idea first), and the idea of competition gaming just makes me laugh. But notwithstanding all that, it's a fun game to play. I regard it in the same way as I do most boardgames I play, Eurogames particularly, forget the theme, play the rules; sort of the opposite of the 'play the period not the rules' mantra. There was one slight problem with the scenario design in that the Imperial forces had zero chance of winning (despite sporting some impressively oddly named pilots), but that didn't seem to make much difference.

In other wargaming news, for some unaccountable reason I thought that a female visitor to the Casa Epictetus might be interested in the story of the great base fire. When I showed her the scorch marks she ignored them and went straight for the chariot. "Did you paint this?" she asked. When I replied in the affirmative her judgement was unequivocal. "It's crap." she said. In vain did I point out that whilst it almost certainly be crap when I'd finished it, as all I'd done so far was prime it (for details of that disaster see earlier posts), undercoat it (in terracotta as always) and slap a base coat on the horses and flesh on to the Celts, it seemed a tad harsh to write it off just yet. Sadly, she was unmoved, although she was more complimentary about the home made orange and mixed spice oat cookies.

Meeting at Night

So, still no za'atar (it's grim up North), but I have managed to score some preserved lemons. Other than that all is well.

The grey sea and the long black land;
And the yellow half-moon large and low;
And the startled little waves that leap
In fiery ringlets from their sleep,
As I gain the cove with pushing prow,
And quench its speed i' the slushy sand.

Then a mile of warm sea-scented beach;
Three fields to cross till a farm appears;
A tap at the pane, the quick sharp scratch
And blue spurt of a lighted match,
And a voice less loud, thro' its joys and fears,
Than the two hearts beating each to each!

                   - Robert Browning

Psalm 51 verse 7

Well the week is off to a terrible start; Waitrose have sold out of za'atar. I know that you feel my pain. I hope all those smug middle class bastards who have bought it choke on their pitta breads. However, I am not going to let a little thing like this spoil my day. In fact I am quietly confident that things will have improved significantly by the time that I go to bed. 

There has been lots of painting over the weekend. The chariots are not going well - they've sort of tipped back at such an angle that no amount of bracing against the side by the occupants could possibly stop them falling off the back as soon as they moved forwards - but I am quite pleased with progress on the first section of Tommies. These include duplicate figures for the Lewis gun team: firing and carrying. The rules don't demand it, but it will look better. Obviously I still intend to use the chariots despite their being seriously aesthetically challenged, but hey ho.

You Got To Be Startin' Somethin'

I have commented before on my incompetence with superglue and even with gloss varnish. I must now add plastic primer to that list. Storm Imogen having departed and Storm Joshua/Jasper/Jeremy not having yet arrived the weather is calm. OK, so it's snowing heavily on and off, but there is no wind. I therefore decided to get out into the garden and do some spraying. Obviously this had to be quick in order to dodge the snow, so I may possibly have cut some corners. As a result I look as if I am suffering from sudden onset vitiligo. Not good.

Your bloggist tries his hand at drybrushing

Anyway, the toys also got covered so there was some upside. Three chariots and a French Napoleonic artillery caisson now await paint. The 3rd Lancers are about half way through so I'm running out of excuses for the First World War stuff. I think the basing question has been pretty much settled. I'm going for 2p pieces for everything and I'll worry about the 'big men' later. Prone figures - which  in the first instance means firing Lewis gunners - will be on a larger circular base, dimensions still to be decided. Heavy weapons will be on bases of a size and shape to be determined later. I think a bit of self-congratulation is order, that's a fairly comprehensive plan all mapped out there.

STOP PRESS: While writing this blog post I became aware of a strange smell. It turned out to be the base of one of the chariots mentioned above, which had started to smoulder quietly. Leaving aside the sheer unlikeliness of this and the ineptitude required to allow it to occur, the real issue is what's up with the smoke alarm? It won't let me make toast without going berserk, but a bit of cardboard on fire and it doesn't react at all.

'Cause many years from now there will be new sensations

I wanted to draw to your attention the comments section on a recent post, in which there is speculation as to what Edmund Blunden, the war poet, would have made of Noddy Holder, the shouty chap from the Black Country with the sideburns and the mirrored hat. Perhaps, if he did indeed watch the Christmas 1973 edition of Top of the Pops (and given how few channels there were in those days, I think we can assume that he would have) he may possibly have recalled these words of his own:

"And some are sparkling, laughing, singing,
Young, heroic, mild;
And some incurable, twisted,
Shrieking, dumb, defiled."

Or perhaps not. In any event, I hope you've all noted the spooky synchronicity that, among the very same pop highlights of the year, he would also have seen the Suzi Quatro performance that I posted yesterday.

And were I ever to direct a film of Blunden's life in a Baz Luhrmann musical stylie - which I hope we can agree is not the strangest idea ever to appear in this blog - then I would depict him sitting in the trenches singing this song, which sadly he never got to hear, having died before it was released:

And some are sparkling, laughing, singing,/Young, heroic, mild;/And some incurable, twisted,/Shrieking, dumb, defiled. - See more at: http://www.poetryarchive.org/poet/edmund-blunden#sthash.4UB6R1qV.dpuf

And some are sparkling, laughing, singing,/Young, heroic, mild;/And some incurable, twisted,/Shrieking, dumb, defiled. - See more at: http://www.poetryarchive.org/poet/edmund-blunden#sthash.4UB6R1qV.dpuf

And some are sparkling, laughing, singing,/Young, heroic, mild;/And some incurable, twisted,/Shrieking, dumb, defiled. - See more at: http://www.poetryarchive.org/poet/edmund-blunden#sthash.4UB6R1qV.dpuf

No need to laugh or cry

I am tempted to start with a moan about Windows 10, but let's do wargaming stuff instead, despite it being a bit thin on the ground. The battle of Neuestrassen rather fell away and we gave up half way through the third night. It was mainly my fault as I wouldn't attack, but I didn't think I had enough infantry and they certainly weren't in the right place. I would have won eventually just by picking off morale chips from the Austrians here and there - my artillery had to come good eventually - but it wasn't making for a terribly good game. I think luck was fairly even over the three weeks, but Peter failed Major Morale multiple times and then lost a cavalry melee with a fresh Cuirassier unit charging a Dragoon unit that had lost three quarters of its strength to musket fire; all of which he took well. The new roads are good though. And have I painted anything myself this week? Not as such. Have I worked out the basing for the WWI stuff I bought? No.

In other news, I was at a breakfast meeting with the Yorkshire and Humber agent of the Bank of England for a run through their latest forecast of the economy, and I have to say that it all seemed rather over optimistic to me. If I correctly understood the process that they go through it mainly consists of looking at whatever assumptions are priced into futures markets for key factors such as oil prices, house prices, unemployment etc; in fact everything except for UK interest rates and that's only because it's the BoE that sets those in the first place. Given the track record of the financial markets for correctly pricing anything perhaps it's best not to take it all too seriously. She asked not to be quoted on the record, but I can't resist one small transgression of that rule. When asked how their forecast reflected the possibility of the UK leaving the EU she simply said that they didn't make judgements on political issues and that when markets started to price in that risk then so would the BoE. However, when asked what she thought the possible impact would be on the UK economy of a crazy person becoming President of the United States, she visibly blanched and her speech became incoherent for quite some time before she recovered sufficiently to say that they would worry about that when the markets started to price in the risk.

And there has been music, with gigs by Nick Hall and Kushty Rye, both excellent. The former, who included a lovely version of 'Wonderful Life' as a tribute to the late Colin Vearncombe, is usually to be found in a duo with his wife, but she is seemingly currently appearing as an ersatz Suzi Quatro on a tour of the Czech Republic alongside a former member of Smokie; apparently it pays well. I must confess to having seen Smokie, who were from Bradford, in concert about forty years ago. Once you discounted the hits ('Living Next Door to Alice' anyone? Thought not.) they weren't bad. Sadly I never saw Suzi Quatro in the flesh, so let's remind ourselves of what I missed:

Kushty Rye (which I believe to be Romany for 'good bloke') are a sort of homage to the late Ronnie Lane, although only two of his songs (How Come and Ooh La La) actually featured in the set. Other than that it was all self-penned, but high quality country/folk/rock.

C&C Expansion 5

"In many spheres of human endeavor, from science to business to education to economic policy, good decisions depend on good measurement." - Ben Bernanke

Some of the new terrain in situ

Before I bought last lot of Hexon terrain I had worked out that four boxes would cover my table. I already had two and so bought three more to allow building of hills whilst also taking advantage of Kallistra's volume discount. Mysteriously, and despite the advanced mathematics involved in the estimate, I had plenty left over from four boxes and ran out of slopes before I had even opened the fifth box. In any event I had specifically bought the fifth box as flocked - rather than the cheaper unflocked suitable for lower levels of hills - because I decided that would give me the flexibility to have a standard size game of C&C on the dining room table while a larger game was set up in the annexe. And so, last night, that's what I did. Equally oddly the dining table, rather than being plenty big enough as it should have been, only just managed to accommodate the tiles with no room left around the outside for the usual accoutrements (1): cards, dice, victory markers, ginger beer etc. I could have sworn that I'd had something sizable on that table before.


My boardgaming friend Chris, who I have mentioned here before has expressed an interest in trying figure wargaming, came round and we had a very cramped, but enjoyable, game. We played the Wartenburg scenario with Bavarians standing in for Wurttemburgers, of whom I have none. This was my - and indeed his - first try of the latest expansion and I was impressed:

• I really liked the new Tactics cards which definitely added a bit of spice and gave options even with a poor normal hand. There was great satisfaction to be had by laying out the right combination to attack unexpectedly and with greater strength than one's opponent anticipates.
• The new roles for leaders also added something. Their use is more subtle than in C&C Ancients which is as it should be, although as I think I've pointed out before it doesn't in any way replicate real Napoleonic command structures. I think that the use of commanders will require several plays to understand the possibilities better.
• There are various other new rules (Garrisons, Grand Batteries, Ranged Fire against Lone Leaders), but none of them arose so I can't comment on them. 
• I must also just mention the first outing of the new wooden C&C dice also purchased recently via eBay - all the way from Canada - which have nothing to do with Expansion 5, but which were a huge improvement on the plastic version; highly recommended.

So another step in introducing Chris to the hobby and he is very keen to move on to something a bit more wargamey and a bit less boardgamey. Which reminds me, the other set of rules that he has played is To the Strongest! and the as-built dimensions of the new terrain will make it really easy to set it up for that game. All I need is 88 identical markers; suggestions welcome.

(1) Google's spellcheck wants that to be 'accouterments'; Americans have obviously moved on from mangling English spelling to starting on French.

Some griefs are med'cinable

Another day, another storm with a middle class name. However, yesterday saw a brief gap in the weather, allowing Peter to ride the range, herd 'em up and move 'em out. This meant that I fired up the Polo (which reached 90,000 miles last week) and gave James a lift to Vapnartak. It was all most enjoyable although, as at other shows, the number of display games seems to fall steadily year on year. It seemed busy enough with the usual quantity of six-packs and washboard stomachs to be seen. James claims to have bumped into the entire Ilkley wargaming community (individually of course, because as schism builds on schism - they really could give the Judean People's Front a run for their money - they might more accurately be referred to as the Ilkley solo wargaming community), but being a miserable git I saw no one and spoke to nobody.

One game that was being demonstrated was Lion Rampant. We had enjoyed our try out of the rules the other week, but couldn't understand why friendly units couldn't be closer than 3" to each other. There were two theories proposed: either a zone of control issue or simply to stop individually based units getting mixed up together (we of course were using stands). The game on show was a Crusades participation game (someone please correct me if I got the period wrong) and the first thing I noticed when looking at it was the units weren't three inches apart. Sure enough as soon as they activated there was much moaning from the various players that others were moving their troops. Given that the use of stands neatly eliminate that issue I think we shall quietly drop that rule.

The main purpose of my trip - apart from buying some khaki paint; mission accomplished - was to collect a large order of Hexon terrain from the Kallistra stand. I now have much of this laid out in the annexe and I am very pleased with it. On reflection I would have bought more slopes and in different proportions to those in the packs they sell. Building this terrain is a three dimensional puzzle and my brain, magnificent in so many other ways, struggles hopelessly to visualise how it goes together. Still, as I say, I am very pleased with how it all looks.

I also stopped off at the Early War Miniatures stand to check out their 20mm WWI stuff. I did try to do the same at the Tumbling Dice stand, but it was always very busy. I bought a token pack of a Lewis gun team on the move, but feel that I might well be adding some of their other stuff in due course. I also snapped up a set of the out of production Revell WWI Germans at a very reasonable price.

So, a very pleasant trip during which I spent a lot of money, but at least my car, unlike others I saw, didn't need a push to get out of the mud.

Books unreviewed

"Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking." - Einstein

I have been doing some background reading on trench warfare during the second half of the First World War, starting with the relevant Osprey and with Paddy Griffith's 'Battle Tactics of the Western Front'. The first thing to note is that both the author of the Osprey and that of 'Through The Mud and the Blood' are, how can we put this, very familiar with Griffith's work. I've always understood there to be some controversy over his somewhat revisionist view of the performance of the B.E.F. and of the infantry in particular, but presumably the others are on his side.

I myself bring no prior knowledge whatsoever to the table. Griffith's book wasn't really what I had envisaged - not being particularly polemical - but was very interesting nonetheless. I've worked in a lot of large organisations and his description of a blend of front-line operational kaizen coupled with layers of highly political management of varying degrees of competence rings very true. I shall keep reading (anything to avoid thinking about basing) and have moved on to Wyndham Lewis' autobiography. I have obviously already read the relevant works by Robert Graves and Siegfried Sassoon, but have retrieved them from the old marital home for a second look. My ex-wife is familiar enough with my pretentiousness not to be taken aback by urgent requests for books by long dead poets.

Speaking of which, lets have a poem by Graves that has nothing to do with the war:

Love is universal migraine,
A bright stain on the vision
Blotting out reason.

Symptoms of true love
Are leanness, jealousy,
Laggard dawns;

Are omens and nightmares -
Listening for a knock,
Waiting for a sign:

For a touch of her fingers
In a darkened room,
For a searching look.

Take courage, lover!
Could you endure such pain
At any hand but hers?

          - Robert Graves

Early in the morning, just as the day is dawning

The postman has been, bringing with him my order from Hannants, an impressively quick dispatch and delivery time. So to start my new Great War project I have for the British: WWI Canadian Infantry, British WWI Infantry and Tank Crew, and WWI British Artillery Crew; for the Germans: WWI German Army, and German WWI Infantry and Tank Crew; and for the Celts: Gallic Chariot. More goodies are on back order.

It's probably the last item that will get painted first because I have a couple of problems with the First World war stuff. Firstly, no khaki paint, which is rank bad planning, although hopefully that can be sorted at Vapnartak tomorrow. The second issue has me copying James. Not, sadly, in his painting ability, nor in his rigorous scoping of projects and focus on them once they are planned. Instead I refer to a habit which you will recognise if you read his blog (and if you don't read it then you certainly should), namely his public agonising about basing protocols.

These figures will certainly be individually based, but after that it gets complicated. What size individual bases? Coins or MDF? If it's coins then I'm leaning to 2p pieces rather than 1p to represent the fact that they would always be in loose order. The rules I have in mind are Through the Mud and the Blood which in itself raises questions. How to represent the 'big men'? Should one mark the bases to represent the different troop roles (rifleman, bomber, trench clearer etc.) or rely on the model delineating things clearly? If one is going to mark the bases then does that imply sabot bases? What about Lewis gunners, all the models of which (and I have quite a few) are lying down and so can't be based in the same way as the others? And notwithstanding the starting assumption, heavy weapons certainly won't be based on coins and probably won't be based individually. Should I try to work out the likely format of bunkers and other strongpoints that the HMGs will go inside before then deciding how the figures will be based? It's all very difficult.

So, chariots it is then.

If you really mean it, it all comes round again

"Little Matty Groves, he lay down and took a little sleep
When he awoke, Lord Donald was standing at his feet
Saying "How do you like my feather bed and how do you like my sheets
How do you like my lady wife who lies in your arms asleep? "
"Oh, well I like your feather bed and well I like your sheets
But better I like your lady wife who lies in my arms asleep"
"Well, get up, get up," Lord Donald cried, "get up as quick as you can
It'll never be said in fair England that I slew a naked man"

I have been to see Fairport Convention yet again, and they were as excellent as ever. In fact I am tempted to simply point you at the last blog posting about one of their concerts. The set listing has changed a bit over the last year, but not that much and the highlight for me was once again 'Matty Groves' from Liege & Lief. It's a traditional folk song of 'two chords and nineteen verses' which ends badly for the title character, but then again I think we'd all agree that he deserved it. Anyway, none of the above should be taken to suggest that I didn't enjoy seeing them. I did, very much, and I shall hopefully be there to watch them on their 50th anniversary tour next year.

The Great War has featured in this blog recently and here's a sad song on the subject that they performed last night:

Cross-mojulation

"So I started to work my mojo, to counter their mojo; we got cross-mojulation, and their heads started exploding." - Austin Powers

I have, I think, mentioned before my admiration for those who regularly post photographs of what they have painted. I don't do that because my painting is no good, I don't have a camera and, most depressing of all, I never paint anything. Or do I? The mojo has suddenly, out of nowhere, reappeared. I rushed to my secret drying cupboard and retrieved everything to remind myself of the state of play. Some French Napoleonic line lancers requiring their arms attaching - check - and an ammunition caisson from the same period and country requiring assembly - check. After a thankfully disaster-free use of superglue and a rare trip to Guiseley to score some plastic primer (the car accessory shops in both Ilkley and Otley having recently gone bust as part of the ongoing economic recovery in the UK) the paint has begun to flow once more. Happy days are here again.

There was also wargaming chez James last night as we continued the latest Seven Years War battle of Neue Strassen. It was the difficult middle episode of any trilogy, the characters had been introduced the previous week, the denouement  will be next week, but in the meantime we needed to move things along a bit, and so we did. I drove the Austrian Grenzers from the wood - despite initially having completely misunderstood how this could or should be achieved - but then the bastards reappeared and we had to do the whole thing again. Peter made the fatal mistake of listening to James' advice regarding evasion by his skirmishers and it was predictably a disaster. He then took the far more sensible step of ignoring James' advice about charging his cavalry across the stream and it turned out that it would have been a huge success. Who'd have thought it?

There was a bit of a debate about tactics, specifically the way that armies deployed from march to battle line. The vagaries of Piquet, so good for the combat phase of the game, tend to militate against following the historical precedent (the historical precedent as per James; I have no idea at all what they used to do) because the penalty for getting caught in column of route is so big. I would imagine the best way round that is some sort of scenario specific deployment rule triggered by proximity as was indeed seen in a different context in the recent refight of Mollwitz.

And talk of tactics brings me to the subject of the First World War. I have been reading up on the subject and will return to what I have read in a future post. What strikes me is that detailed familiarity with the tactics of the period is quite important to be able to sensibly play the sort of low level trench raids that I was considering; possibly making them unsuitable for the sporadic pick up games that would occur in the wargaming annexe. Add to that the need for specific terrain, the dullness of the uniforms, and my well known dislike of small scale skirmish games and one has a pretty compelling case for not proceeding. I have therefore placed an order for several sets of figures (British and German) and can report that the project is 'Go'. I also ordered some Celtic chariots at the same time, simply because.

Secrecy Protested

FEAR not, dear love, that I'll reveal
Those hours of pleasure we two steal ;
No eye shall see, nor yet the sun
Descry, what thou and I have done.
No ear shall hear our love, but we
Silent as the night will be ;
The god of love himself (whose dart
Did first wound mine and then thy heart),
Shall never know that we can tell
What sweets in stol'n embraces dwell.
This only means may find it out ;
If, when I die, physicians doubt
What caused my death, and there to view
Of all their judgements which was true,
Rip up my heart, oh ! then, I fear,
The world will see thy picture there.

                         - Thomas Carew

Pot51pouri

That last post was a bit wargaming heavy so perhaps it's time for some waffle and digression. I could do with some light relief as I'm recovering from a truly tedious and futile journey to Birmingham and back through the teeth of Storm Gertrude. When I tell you that the highlight of the trip by a considerable margin was a Greggs sausage roll you will understand exactly how bad it was.

On the way back - during which I had to stand for the whole journey - I finished the latest 87th Precinct novel on my kindle (I have come late to McBain, but am relishing them) and having left my WWI trench research at home, I turned to the first of the Sharpe books. I had bought this in a weak moment when Amazon offered it at a big discount - presumably to tempt me into reading the rest at full price - and never got round to starting it. Having done so I didn't like it and shan't be finishing it. It's by no means impossible to do this sort of thing well (e.g. Patrick O'Brian or C.S. Forester), but this is poor stuff.

On the up side I have been to see Giles Hedley and the Aviators who were rather good. Hedley himself is perhaps too posh to make a totally convincing bluesman - although he did apparently once open shows for both Son House and Mississippi Fred McDowell - but they make a fine noise. They cover all the usual bases: House himself, Howlin' Wolf, Sleepy John Estes, Robert Johnson, Charley Patton and no doubt others I've forgotten; but they do it very well. The drummer, Sam Kelly, is unbelievably cool (and talented; if you've ever listened to Craig Charles you may have heard Cymande, of which Kelly was a founder member) and Hedley is the only man I've ever seen play two harmonicas at once, by nose and by mouth. A very good evening was made even better when I won the raffle.

The younger Miss Epictetus and her boyfriend continue to wreak mayhem across South East Asia. In the latest episode, said boyfriend has apparently chundered over an entire extended Bengali family while they were peacefully enjoying some folkloric Cambodian entertainment. In the version of the story relayed second hand to me by the elder Miss Epictetus, the recipients of his, shall we say, illness were in some unspecified way responsible for their own misfortune, but, whilst I am as prone to stick up for my children as any father, I'm not entirely sure that I buy that.

And now some random music, in no way reflective of my frame of mind: