You can knit a sweater by the fireside

"But at my back I always hear

Time’s wingèd chariot hurrying near;

And yonder all before us lie

Deserts of vast eternity."

- Andrew Marvell

It would have been Andrew Marvell's birthday today. 

Field Artillery

"Quantity" as Stalin may or may not have once said "has a quality all of its own". I photographed this lot - which is by no means all that I own - mainly because I had the box out. They fit into the 'no military value' category on the basis that not many of them could ever get on the table at once. What I would say is that they do nicely capture the lack of uniformity that would probably have been seen in practice.

From that angle the chap with the bucket almost looks as if he has wandered in from an American Civil War battlefield.

When we can all go out again I am going to treat myself to a pair of trousers that colour.

Mantlets

I trust everyone continues to be well. As if to add insult to injury it snowed here this morning. Anyway, back to the photos. A question has been asked about how the previously featured bombard could be fired with all that wood in the way.

So, the chaps standing on either side with ropes in their hands would, at the point the gun was ready to fire, pull and thereby raise the shield in a sort of reverse guillotine fashion, lowering it back again afterwards.

Of course it would be perhaps more normal for the shield to simply pivot on a hinge.

Protection for artillery crew came in many forms. It would appear that this lot haven't finished building theirs yet.

Sieges pt 2

The light box is too small for the Great Gun of Orban, so the attackers will have to make do with this one:

The defenders have prepared the boiling oil:

The wall in that photograph is one the original card ones that I made years ago. We've just had a couple of lovely sunny days so I was able to resume spraying the new, laser-cut version. Trial and error has led me to the conclusion that several very brief applications is probably the way to go, but it's raining again so that project is back on hold.

Pot93pouri

Someone has been sent to the blog by Bing after keying in 'Yellow Ribbon Wargame Rules'. Unfortunately the particular post it sent them to is all about opera. I do hope they weren't too disappointed. I shall have to investigate those rules; presuming of course that the title is based on the  the song I'm thinking of.

Speaking of wargames rules set in North America, Miniature Wargames has a cover feature on the Mexican Revolution so, despite my lack of interest, I bought a copy. There are some very nice photos of 54mm figures owned by the author of one of the books on the subject that I featured here recently. Respect is certainly due to whoever converted and painted them all. The article rather annoyingly refers to a home brew rule set and then is itself instead based on a heavily amended version of 'Black Powder'. Still, there are some intriguing ideas for those intending to do the period at some point - which I am not - and it will go in the file.

There have been some nice comments left regarding the pictures taken in my new lightbox, for which I thank you. The question which no one has been rude enough to ask is why I painted all this crap in the first place. The simple answer is that prior to divorce, homelessness, and subsequent acquisition of the wargaming annexe I never hosted any games. Starting to do so has concentrated the mind a bit and subsequently I have to a large extent concentrated on things actually needed for the scenarios that I wanted to put on. Before that the process was the real focus; I simply did whatever I felt like doing. If one isn't going to use them in a game then painting yet another battalion of French Napoleonic infantry doesn't really stir the imagination in the same way as a heretic about to be burned.

You may notice a bit of a family resemblance between the apostate above and the chap - presumably an ancestor - who was being held captive by the Celts.

Let's finish with some more music about yellow ribbons:

Sieges pt 1

I have lots of bits and pieces for fighting late medieval sieges (or to be more specific the assault element of a medieval siege), but sadly have never found any off the shelf rules which would make use of them. Much of the equipment - e.g. the belfry and, of course, the crow - is too big for the lightbox, but a here's small selection of the rest:

You can't besiege anywhere without a chap pushing a wheelbarrow.

And in the unlikely event that the wheelbarrow doesn't work, bring up the ram.

Until it gets destroyed.

At which point we need to try an escalade.

Onwards and upwards.

And we can stay all day

We'll have a break from the lightbox photos - though be warned; they will return - to mark the passing of Julie Felix, as yet another memory of my childhood is gone. She introduced me to an awful lot of good music, both by covering other artist's songs and by inviting some top-notch guests on to her television show.

Those who have been paying any attention at all will have been expecting this one:

And, of course, there's this, to which I still know all the words despite not having heard it for decades:

Medieval boats

We are going to jump forward a thousand years or more, but very much stick to toys that have not only never been out on the table, but probably never will be.

Scenario suggestions would be welcome. I did once have a a vague idea of doing something around the siege of St Michael's Mount during the Wars of the Roses. I believe that something along those lines was done at a show at some point, but I've never been able to track down any photos.

Via Romana

In time I shall get bored with my new toy, but that time is not now.

In my version of Pony Wars the rescuing civilians bit stays the same (I have some dreadful cardboard villas, but they are too big for the lightbox), but the Stagecoach, Pony Express etc are changed slightly. First century Romans had better roads than nineteenth century Americans living in the West and so the board is intended to have a road cutting straight (*) across it. At random intervals something will appear moving down the road, providing a target for the Celts and something that needs to be protected by the Romans.

The exact nature of the passenger, and therefore its victory point total, would also be determined randomly. This could be empty or it could be carrying the Emperor's mother.

As could this, although I'm not sure how far they would manage to carry that thing along a road.

I'm also not sure why this lot are re-surveying a road that's already there. Perhaps they are going to build a fort, which is something I don't currently have.


* Obviously it will be straight; they're Romans!

More civilians

The reason I have all these peripheral figures is for the often mentioned, but rarely played, Roman version of Pony Wars. The group above have also appeared in a 'burn the village' scenario we played using To the Strongest!. I confess that I have no idea what the pair below could be used for.

Perhaps they are on their way to rescue this chap.

Lightbox

I'm sure I am not alone in admiring the Palouse Wargaming Journal not just for the quantity and quality of the newly painted units of which photos are posted, but for the fact that the pictures don't look as if they have been taken on the dining table. For all I know that is exactly where it all takes place, but the use of a lightbox hides all those unsightly crumbs. Consequently I've always intended to get myself one at some point, and frankly this seemed as good a time as any.

This was probably the last unit which I painted

If we waited for me to paint some new stuff before trying it out then we'd be twiddling our thumbs for a long time, so I've set to with whatever happened to be in the boxes closest to hand, which were Romans because that's what was last played in the annexe. Three things become apparent at this point. Firstly, my whole painting technique is aimed at the mass effect on the table, not at being viewed close up. I can't say that bothers me very much; I've genuinely never had a interest in improving things, and beyond adopting a variety of approaches to dipping and washing I've never changed the way I paint. Secondly, I've mostly gone for a gloss finish, because they are toy soldiers not scale models. I think they look OK in the flesh, but they really don't suit being photographed in a lightbox. Thirdly, I seem to have collected an awful lot of stuff with no military value whatsoever, which therefore never gets on the table. Now is a chance to rectify it.

The above amply illustrates all the problems. You can tell the difference between the lack of detail caused by the shiny surface of the figures compared to the matt of the printed mosaic floor. Plus of course, it is not often going to pop up in an army list.

Ditto for this really. Anyway, brace yourself for a stream of poorly painted, incompetently photographed models that don't seem to have much to do with military history. For the record all photos were taken on the dining table.

Roll with it

"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh." - George Bernard Shaw

Wargamers will have different ways of occupying themselves at the moment. One of my contacts has ordered in so much booze that one can only assume that he has decided to get and then remain so drunk that he won't notice when he is ill. Peter, on the other hand, has complained that when working from home his employer most unreasonably seems to expect him to actually work rather than paint figures. I myself fully intend at some point to paint something, but haven't quite got round to it yet. Indeed I have come up with a cunning plan to do something hobby related that will fill up my time without being in any way productive; details to follow. 

Peter also commented on the craze in the UK  for panic buying pasta and toilet rolls. As he observantly pointed out, if you only eat the former you are not going to need too much of the latter. If the shelves are empty when you get there then I urge you to recall this poem from your childhood:

In days of old

When knights were bold

And paper wasn't invented

They wiped their arse

On clumps of grass

And rode away contented.

Misao

"From his childhood a man may dream about great cities and glorious battlefields, but the real, decisive battles for the preservation of his being and the realisation of everything concealed instinctively within it, must be fought wherever destiny happens to cast him, in who knows what narrow, nameless space with no splendour or beauty, with no witness or judge." 

- Ivo Andric

No one came and no one went

Here is a song that Eric Burdon wrote more than fifty years ago, whose time has finally come:

Rockin' with the Professor

One of the artists that I would love to have seen live is Professor Longhair. Here he is with a cover of Huey 'Piano' Smith's 'Rockin' Pneumonia', possibly - or possibly not - accompanied by Clarence 'Gatemouth' Brown:

2 Chronicles 21:14

Your bloggist is a notorious Billy No-mates, and is therefore as psychologically prepared as anyone for self-isolation. But just to be sure I have put some cultural fuel in the tank to see me through.

Opera: I saw Opera North's excellent new production of Kurt Weill's 'Street Scene'. They have a real flair for musical theatre and for his work in particular. I wish they would revive their production of 'One Touch of Venus'. I also saw OperaUpClose's 'Madam Butterfly'. It was set in modern Japan and the scenery was quite reminiscent of the poor neighbourhood in 'Parasite' if you've seen that. As usual with that company I really enjoyed the small scale and intimacy, but - and it's a big but - they changed the ending. How can you change the ending of Madam Butterfly? I also saw a concert featuring various Baroque works including Purcell's 'The Yorkshire Feast Song', which was apparently commissioned for the annual dinner of the London Society of Yorkshiremen in 1690. Clearly the bastards have been banging on about how wonderful they are for centuries; although now I've written that I don't know why I am in the slightest surprised. Also on the programme was Handel's 'Eternal Source of Light Divine', a setting of the poem by Ambrose Philips. Whilst Philips was no great shakes as a poet, he was the original 'Namby-Pamby'; don't tell me this blog isn't educational.

Theatre: I saw a very fine, very dark version of 'Oliver Twist', by Ramps on the Moon, a company which mixes D/deaf, disabled and able bodied actors in productions which build captioning, sign language and other forms of accessibility right into the fabric of the show (see here for their version of 'The Threepenny Opera' - also, satisfyingly, composed by Weill) . In a way this production was the opposite of colour blind casting, with the actors' deafness being the crucial link that held Fagin's gang together. The Artful Dodger teaching Oliver to sign was as central as teaching him to pick pockets. Bill Sykes is one of the most terrifying characters in literature and drama, and the effect is only heightened by him not speaking. Also up was a really different take on 'Pride and Prejudice' with an all female cast giving us the sweary version that one must assume Jane Austen would have written were it not for all those boring nuances of etiquette in place at the time. I won't write a review (read this one if you're interested),  but it was just brilliant and laugh out loud funny all the way through.

Film: Jane Austen popped up in the cinema as well, with the current take on Emma being well worth watching. I thought that they managed to capture the essence of the characterisations - notably Mr Woodhouse's hypochondria - without reams of exposition. I mentioned it above, but 'Parasite' is obviously rather good, in an Alfred Hitchcock sort of way. Whether it's the best film of the last year or so is less clear. I also caught up with 'Rocketman' and thought it was great. It's fascinating that it and 'Bohemian Rhapsody' tell stories with some similarities of narrative and theme in such different ways.

Let's finish with some music to cheer us up. This is Townes Van Zandt and 'Waiting Around to Die':

Agua que no has de beber, déjala correr

The Battle of Soor is delayed once again, for equine reasons this time. In the meantime other wargaming progress is somewhat slow. There has been no spraying as the weather continues to be poor. You're probably bored with photographs of the River Wharfe misbehaving, so here's the River Aire (for those who don't know, it's the next valley across) at Saltaire yesterday.

It's been a while since my thoughts turned to the Mexican Revolution, but I have treated myself to a couple of books on the subject:

I've already had a brief look at the one on the left. It has rather more detail on bayonet shapes than is strictly speaking necessary for the level of game I favour, but looks like it will be an invaluable resource, not that I need one of course. The author is promising to follow it up with a wargamers guide to the conflict, which will no doubt also be essential for those like me who neither game the period nor have any plans to do so. A full review may follow if the Lord spares me for long enough. If that wasn't sufficient I've downloaded "All Eyes on the Rio Grande", the long lost journal of the (fictional) Lt Col McIvor during the Punitive Expedition, to my kindle. Based on the first couple of chapters he seems more Pooter than Flashman, but I'm sure it will be an entertaining read.

Let us be together tonight

Pot92pouri

The wind has dropped for the first time in weeks and so I've had a stab at spraying the laser cut town walls. They were always going to require two coats, but even allowing for that my technique clearly needs some refining. To start with I should probably place the walls a bit closer together, rather than ending up with a whole load of stone textured newspaper.

Harking back to this previous post about Sandy Denny and the comment subsequently left by Aaron, can I point you to this episode of 'Digging Deep', in which Robert Plant talks about 'Battle of Evermore':

Finally, and for no real reason, here is Tamara de Lempika's painting 'La Belle Rafaela':

Overlord and overwatch

The second night of the Soor game was postponed for the most topical of reasons, but I do have some wargaming to report. As a first stop on my trip to London I went to the Overlord show in Abingdon. Now, you have probably spotted that Abingdon is neither in London, nor anywhere near the route from Leeds to London. Still, what's a bit of a diversion between friends? It was very quiet when we arrived, but that probably wasn't surprising as it was mid-afternoon. I would say it was about the same size as Fiasco: fewer traders perhaps, but more games - and better lighting, although I still didn't take any photos. Shopping on the day was restricted to a plastic kit of a WWI ambulance, although I have subsequently ordered a strip of railway track matting from Tinywargames based on a conversation I had at their stand there.

The next day I spent playing a couple of games with Don, previously outed here as my very first wargames opponent from a lifetime ago. I'm sorry to have to report that he hasn't aged as well as your bloggist, although he still had sufficient of his marbles left to take me through both 'Chain of Command' and a preview of the not yet released 'Infamy, Infamy'. These days Don runs with Rich Clarke's posse and is an expert on Too Fat Lardies rules, which doesn't in any way explain why I won both games, despite never having played either before.

The CoC game in particular was a complete travesty. Having unsurprisingly come off worse in the patrol phase I compounded the error by putting a rifle section (I was playing early war French and defending) in a house that could be, and was, battered by fire from many attackers at once. About the only thing I did right was not to bring all my forces on too soon. Having been seriously outflanked I was considering throwing in the towel when I consecutively threw four sets of double sixes out of five dice and so got four turns in a row and was able to reduce the opposition morale to zero before Don could respond. It didn't bear much resemblance to the games we played as teenagers, except that Don was the Germans and seemed to have substantially better troops and greater firepower; that definitely rang a bell.

Second up was the work-in-progress that is 'Infamy, Infamy', with the development of which Don has been quite involved. I confess to having become a bit confused between the detailed mechanics of CoC and I,I by that point, but I enjoyed it a lot. It seems not dissimilar in some ways to 'Through the Mud and the Blood', although the concept of fervour is a well-thought through differentiation between Romans and barbarians. I shall definitely be buying a copy when it is eventually finished and published. I'm not sure how I won this one; mostly by avoiding fighting the legionaries I think.

So a nice time was had by all. It was actually Don's birthday, but thankfully there was less vomiting than I recall from our birthday celebrations as young men. Many thanks to him and Julie for the hospitality.

Count 'em, Jim

As you will be aware your bloggist is old and getting older. One of the few advantages of this is that maturity means one can more easily avoid the sort of social faux pas likely to cause embarrassment. Or so I thought.

I have been down to that there London - wargaming aspects of the trip will be covered here shortly - and was just entering the head office of a charity with which I am connected. "Hold the door" said a voice behind me. An elderly man appeared next to me and continued "I've had a terrible time getting here by taxi from Kings Cross because of all the roadworks. It's taken forever and cost me £12."

"You don't need to take a taxi from Kings Cross," I admonished him "It's a fifteen minute walk, twenty at most."

"But," my new friend said, with a rather pained expression appearing on his face "I've only got one leg." and a brief, if belated, visual inspection on my part confirmed this to very much be the case.

Not cool, dude, not cool.