Pot40pouri

"Surprises are foolish things. The pleasure is not enhanced, and the inconvenience is often considerable." - Jane Austen
  
Our refight of Chotusitz completed - or near enough for everyone's satisfaction - and Frederick won. Having said that, I think it's a very good scenario and the Austrians have a pretty fair chance of winning. To do so, their commander needs to be more sensible with his cavalry on the left than I was and the grenzers who occupy the town need to inflict a bit more damage on the Prussian reinforcements; neither of which is beyond the realms of possibility.

I have been to the latest exhibition at the Henry Moore Institute featuring works by Carol Gove and Carlo Scarpa. It is absolute rubbish. 

I travelled to London last week, my first trip since the reprivatisation of the East Coast Mainline route under the control of Virgin Trains. My return train was cancelled, and I was advised by Virgin that any delay over thirty minutes entitled one to compensation and, this being the case, I duly did. My claim has subsequently been rejected on the basis that, and I only paraphrase slightly, there is nothing to do in Leeds at that time of night anyway so what difference did half an hour make. 

Asparagus has been cooked again, this time with bacon lardons, poached egg and pine nuts

To do the right deed for the wrong reason

And so to the theatre. I have been to see 'Murder in the Cathedral', T.S. Eliot's examination of, among other things, the dichotomy between man's loyalty to his conscience and the duty he may be considered to owe to authority. I prefer to interpret it as a product of its time - having been written during the rise of fascism - but that may just be because I am constitutionally incapable of any empathy with the inner struggles of god-botherers. There are obvious parallels with Thomas More that other egotistical Lord Chancellor who allowed himself to be martyred, although in fairness to Thomas a Becket he never told lies about Richard III.

I wasn't entirely convinced by the production, the opening scene in particular seemed to drift on for ever before anything much happened. Some of the costume decisions were also questionable. Becket himself wore motorcycle leathers for no reason that I could discern and while Reginald Fitz Urse (crazy name, crazy guy) had a bit of a Herr Flick, Gestapo vibe going on, the other three knights appeared to be ninjas. The music managed to be both odd and predictable - Cohen's 'Hallelujah' was inevitable - and was at times too loud. However the verse was crisply and powerfully spoken, transcending all the other inadequacies to make it a memorable evening.

Asparagus officinalis

If this blog had any readers I would apologise to them for my absence. I have had what medical professionals would describe as a stinking cold and have been laid low over the bank holiday. However, I am almost fully recovered and back to what passes for normal life around here. At the moment that seems to consist of searching for the best recipe for serving asparagus, always bearing in mind that I cannot eat dairy produce. The current favourite is lemon and garlic roasted asparagus with herby tomatoes, but I've also had great success with chorizo accompanied by sweet potato cakes with spring onion and ginger.

Returning to the ostensible theme of the blog, there has also been some wargaming in the legendary wargames room of James 'Olicanalad' Roach, after a hiatus caused by genuine illness on the part of his wife and some epic scale hypochondria from him. He has blogged about the game here and we will finish it off tonight, so I will simply say that considering the terrible dice that I threw and my appalling cavalry tactics on my left flank I am remarkably well placed. I don't have very much morale left though so another defeat seems all too likely.

I shall therefore celebrate rising from my sickbed by bringing the world up to date with boardgames played.

Cosmic Encounter: An oldie but goodie. Who wouldn't want to conquer the universe?

Factory Fun: A very off-putting name for a game so loosely based on factories one wonders why they bothered. Good game though.

Fleet: An interesting, if somewhat lightly themed, game. It was basically accounting and so I won.

Ice Flow: A favourite of mine, spoiled on this occasion by the fact that I didn't win.

Letters from Whitechapel: A one-against-many cooperative game where acting as policemen we chased Jack the Ripper through the streets and alleys and across the rooftops of the East End. I'm not sure where the letters come in to things exactly. I enjoyed it, and we caught the fiend while I was directing operations so I have to declare it a good game. Trivia note: I was born in the area represented by the playing map.

Pandemic: Contagion : A competitive version of Pandemic and all the better for it. Players take the part of a deadly virus attempting to wipe out humanity; suits me.

Pastiche: The game revolves around the painting of old masters. It's very pretty, but not terribly coherent.

Russian Railroads: I enjoyed this despite it being a worker placement game. I'd play again and would be able to deploy a better strategy next time.

Skull: I love this game to such an extent that I have been out and bought a copy. I'm rubbish at it though.

Sushi Go!: Very lightweight card drafting game that didn't do it for me.

Waggle Dance: Bees make honey - very entertaining; at least until with the game all but won I put one of my worker bees on the wrong spot because I wasn't paying enough attention and so lost. Hubris indeed.

What potent blood hath modest May

What potent blood hath modest May
when violets bloom sweet and fair
as the butterfly on red roses play
without a thought, without a care?

When violets bloom sweet and fair
along the roadsides emerald way
without a thought, without a care
as in the breeze they dance and sway.

Along the roadsides emerald way
a child picks them here and there
as in the breeze they dance and sway
with his mother the beauty he wants to share.

A child picks them here and there
innocent under the suns bright ray
with his mother the beauty he wants to share
all the treasures of his day.

Innocent under the suns bright ray
at the tombstone he lays with care
all the treasures of his day
as his mother sleeps so unaware.

At the tombstone he lays with care
he speaks the words he needs to say
as his mother sleeps so unaware
he curses the grave where she will stay.

He speaks the words he needs to say
who will love him without her there?
He curses the grave where she will stay
he cries to think how unfair,

who will love him without her there?
As the butterfly on red roses play
he cries to think how unfair
what potent blood has the month of May?

                        - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I haven't been to...

... Belgium again; and, with a new string to my bow, I haven't been to Turkey either. I have been to London - Marylebone or thereabouts - but that was dull. It was my first trip on the East Coast Mainline since it was reprivatised in the hands of Virgin and, to no surprise whatsoever, it was terrible, culminating in my return train being cancelled completely.

Other items of note over the last week or so:

• An unnecessarily large Napoleonic cavalry battle staged for no other reason than to get all my collection on the table. The French swept the Prussians from the table easily, but the Russian heavy cavalry won the day in the end. I remembered to take some photos, but I can't put my hand on my camera.
• I definitely had my camera with me when I went to the Otley Show at the weekend. This is the first of the large agricultural shows of the year in the north of England and was replete with livestock of all sorts and the farming community of the dales making merry. The absence of photographs means you are denied a detailed report on the ladies tug-of-war; which is possibly just as well.
• I have seen Thea Gilmore again. She was as excellent as on the previous occasion.

May was full of promises

And so to the theatre. Or possibly to the opera. Or possibly both. Opera North regularly include musicals in their repertoire, partly I think because they exist on a continuum with opera proper rather than being subject to a binary divide, and partly to make money. Their production of Kurt Weil's 'One Touch of Venus' from a few years ago remains a highlight for me of all the many times I have seen their work. This season they have revived 'Carousel', which I missed last time they did it for some reason; possibly because I was in Belgium, a country that I have once again failed to go to this week.

We want Willum, Willum the cat

Anyway, it was highly enjoyable, up to a point. It is very operatic in theme - for which read it is full of horrible people and it doesn't end well - and perhaps that is what attracted the company to it. I saw fit in my review of 'The Marriage of Figaro' to advise Mozart that he should have lost the fourth act. Similarly Rodgers and Hammerstein should have drawn a line after the first rendition of 'You'll Never Walk Alone'. The audience would stumbled out into the street emotionally wracked and blinking back tears. As it is they all leave shaking their heads at the baffling last half hour of mawkish sentimentality, wondering if even Americans could really stomach such banal, quasi-religious drivel.

There must be a better world somewhere

Fellas, tell them one more time

Well I've been around a long time

I really have paid my dues

Silence is safer than speech

"England is nothing but the last ward of the European madhouse..." - Leon Trotsky

He didn't fly to Bruges

Or indeed Courtrai. I have spent much of the last fortnight not going to Belgium; an activity which has occupied a paradoxically large amount of my time. You will be relieved to learn however that boardgaming has somehow struggled on regardless. Games played were:

6 nimmt!: The higher the number of players then the more random it gets, but I rather like it.

Guillotine: Once again the French aristos got what was coming to them, and quite right too.

Kemet: I led the dog people of ancient Egypt (you know, the dog people of ancient Egypt; come on, don't pretend that you haven't heard of them) to a respectable second place.


Mottainai: I have no idea how to describe this any more than I had any idea what the rules were while I was playing it. Peculiar, but on the plus side seems to reward the ability to plan ahead.

The Pillars of the Earth: Pretty standard, fairly light worker placement game with a cathedral building theme that, apparently, has something to do with a book by Ken Follett. Notwithstanding any of that it was nice to play and doesn't outstay its welcome. It's all accounting really so I won. It does contain the best turn counter that I think that I've ever come across.

The Resistance: Seriously, I hear you ask, seriously? All I can say is that my resistance was low (did you see what I did there?) and I went with the flow. I got it completely wrong, but in my defence the chap sitting next to me works at Menwith Hill and so must be considered a professional and he had no idea either.

Revolver: I haven't played this for a yonk, not since the episode with the Malaysian midwife; one of those stories for which the world is not yet ready. Anyway, it came out because Peter and I finished Katzbach a bit early and then I squeezed in another couple of games, including the first time I've ever seen it won by removing all the tokens from the Mexican Border card. It's a damn good game.

San Juan: It occurs to new players fairly early on during the rules explanation that this is about running a slave plantation, but distasteful theme aside, this is a good game. It is rather similar to Citadels, but for some reason that game is looked down upon by the cognoscenti whereas this one is deemed OK. It's a funny thing, fashion.

Tzolk'in: This is the one with the cogs on the board that are rotated each turn. I very much enjoyed it. Again, a mostly standard worker placement game except for the gear wheels. It is, of course, all accounting and so as I often do in those circumstances, I won. For the record I have been to Chichen Itza. It rained.

Anything goes

And so to the theatre. 'Kill The Beast' theatre company are touring 'He Had Hairy Hands' and were in Harrogate for one night only. As one would expect given their name - which is a quote from 'Lord of the Flies' - the show is in the horror genre, but it's also very funny.

They combine slick physical theatre with clever wordplay and quick switches between the multiple characters being played by each of them. Highlights for me were a wolf wonderfully constructed from the entire cast and a corny, but laugh-out-loud, joke about haunted tiramisu. Worth watching out for.

Start wide, expand further

"Start wide, expand further, and never look back" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

My C&C Napoleonics set up consists of nine doormats arranged 3x3 and marked out in the regulation sized hex pattern albeit in offset squares. However, I actually have a further three such mats plus the space to add them on to the end to make a 4x3 layout. Before it all gets taken down to play something else I have therefore experimented with widening things out. The new layout has eighteen hex/squares on each baseline. The left and right flanks consist of six each and the centre eight, implying an overlap of on hex/square on the baseline row and two on the alternate rows.

We played out the Katzbach scenario from the C&C Napoleonic website (it's a user posted one rather than one in the expansion) with the terrain stretched, another half dozen units on either side and proportional adjustments to victory banners and iron will counters. The wider playing surface worked well in the sense that we didn't really notice it. The scenario wasn't a success however, the lack of ranged fire for infantry units (the battle took place in a thunderstorm) being too much of a special case to draw any firm conclusions.

I intend to play another game on the same layout and, learning nothing as usual, it will be another special case. I'm going to set up a cavalry battle; the only reason for which is that I have such a shed load of cavalry that unless I have a cavalry-only battle on a bigger area it will never get used.

Lützen and Ligny

We've once again had a run of C&C Napoleonics games in the wargaming annexe here at Casa Epictetus, having moved on to the fourth expansion - the Prussians. Last week it was Lützen (the early part of the action with the French on the defensive) and this week Ligny, from which the photos come.

Both proved something that we've suspected for a while, that it is very difficult to attack in this game, especially against infantry in towns. Of course, and before anyone else suggests it, it's possible that we're just not very good at it, but we've been playing for a while and don't seem to be getting any better at that aspect. Last night admittedly James was handicapped by an inability to draw anything other than left sector cards, a problem exacerbated when he lost all his units in the left sector fairly early on.

Peter's normal complaint is that he rolls rubbish dice and, in all fairness, he often does. However, on both evenings he found himself rolling one dice with a unit of Lancers and on each occasion he rolled three flags in a row.

The terrain collection for this set-up continues to develop. Ligny calls for four bridges (as does Wavre - there's something about the hundred days and bridges) and so I made a trip to Wargame Vault, bought a download card model for 50 cents and made up four copies printed off at half size. Both scenarios need a church, which I didn't have and so had to substitute a walled farm. But today lurking in a charity shop in Otley - on the lookout for glasses from which to drink my breakfast orange juice since you ask - I found a nicely sized Lilliput Lane church which was immediately added to the collection. Inevitably, next week's scenario doesn't feature either church or bridge.

Prussian reserve infantry hold the 'church' next to the bridges

 I think it will be the last battle in this sequence and so I'm going to set up one with both Russians and Prussians, Katzbach. The French contingent also includes troops from Italy, Naples, Hesse and Baden, all of which I have, so there will be some colour on the table. All I have to do now is learn how to take some decent photographs.

Boardgaming Catch Up

I am behind with recording the boardgames that have been played, so here, in no particular order except for alphabetical, they are:

• Abluxxen: This has to be the one game this week that has given me the most satisfaction, simply becuase after several attempts I finally worked out a strategy to follow. 
• Castles of Mad King Ludwig: A good game although while we're on the subject of strategies, I've never worked out the best approach to pricing when one is the master builder.
• Condottiere: An older game that was new to most of those playing, but which went down well.
• Harbour: Someone had spotted a mistake in the rules that we were playing regarding the trading phase. The incorrect version that we had played is far better than the rules as written, rewarding cleverness much more. I'd also change the victory conditions. Enjoyable game despite those quibbles.
• Libertalia: Arghh me hearties! I reserve judgement until a second play.

• Nottingham:  A new one to me and not to be confused with Sheriff of Nottingham. I can remember very little about it.
• Quantum: I always think it's an interesting design, and it's a good game to boot.
• Quartermaster General: My favourite game of the moment. I was Japan and my team won for the third time out of the three that I've played it, mainly by destroying the Soviet Union.
• Red7: Like it a lot.
• Roll for the Galaxy: A quicker version of Race for the Galaxy which I would recommend.
• Timeline: A much better welcome game than bloody Apples to Apples
• Undermining: A far better game than I thought that it was going to be. All to do with mining an asteroid, but plenty of opportunities to be nasty to the opposition, which I like.

Epicurism and Lust

And so to the theatre. I have always thought that Lear was the part that Barrie Rutter was born to play. So it was with much anticipation that I went to Northern Broadsides latest touring production. My hopes were completely vindicated although perhaps not in the way that I had expected. Rather than giving it both barrels, Rutter's performance is restrained and, dare one say it, dignified. Whilst I was initially somewhat disappointed by the lack of ham or fireworks I must admit that he and director Jonathan Miller (1), not unsurprisingly, knew better than me. The production is of high standard throughout, from Fine Time Fontayne's Fool, through the excellent nastiness of Regan and Goneril, to the campest of Oswalds, and indeed the rest of the cast.

He loves a hat

I was accompanied by my elder daughter and, despite her being only twenty, this was the second time we had seen King Lear together, perhaps an indication of my cruelty to my children in the name of culture. On the previous occasion we had been to see it, with Tim Piggot-Smith giving us his take on the role, the lady sitting next to us died half way through the first act, at considerable inconvenience to all, except for those on stage who carried on regardless in the finest traditions of show business. This time nothing untoward happened, the empty seat to my left maybe indicating that someone had had the courtesy to pass away before setting off instead of spoiling the day for everyone else.

(1) Originally known of course for Beyond the Fringe alongside Peter Cook, Dudley Moore and Alan Bennett. Cook and Moore are sadly no longer with us, but thankfully Bennett is still around to keep Miller company.

Sabot bases

When I first came into contact with the surprisingly large number of wargamers based in Ilkley one thing that I couldn't understand was the propensity of some of them to constantly rebase their figures for different rulesets. I swore to myself that I wouldn't ever go down that route. No matter how idiosyncratically I'd structured my unit and element sizes new rules would just have to be twisted and tortured until they could somehow be made to work.

I was therefore delighted when I discovered C&C Napoleonics as they have allowed me to utilise my collection of very many, very small units of Russian, Prussian, French, Bavarian and other assorted nationalities without doing anything to the way that I had organised them many years ago: for example nine man infantry units on three 20mm x 40mm stands. It works very well and gives a good game. The main remaining problem (apart from calculating the line of sight on a board of offset squares) is the fiddly nature of the small bases, the time it takes to move them about and the incidental damage as they were being handled. I had been wondering whether perhaps they needed rebasing after all.

My Wars of the Roses figures however left me with a different problem. I had based the nobles, knights etc individually, mostly on pennies, but others on any old odd size that must have seemed a good idea at the time. The various rules that I have actually tried, or indeed would like to try at some point, all require leaders to be essentially just another stand. I therefore broke my rule and knocked up some temporary bases of the same size as a stand (40mm x 40mm), which held the leader and displayed his name, specifically for the battle commanders at Tewkesbury. I rather liked these and have therefore double broken the rule and made some permanent such stands for all sixty or so such captains that i have. The consequent dilemma was how to differentiate between battle commanders and unit captains now that I had, well, based them all the same again. Thus my last order from Warbases included some 60mm x 40mm sabot bases to allow higher level commanders to be identified by an attached stand of heralds. Unfortunately the heralds - of which I have an inexplicable dozen or so stands - were based on arbitrary sized scraps of card, because presumably I never really thought that I'd use them. I therefore triply broke my rule and rebased all of them on 20mm x 40mm bases.

It was only while admiring all this work that it occurred to me that the same sabot bases could serendipitously also be used for the Napoleonic infantry. So, a further order was placed and the C&C faffing about problem has been solved without rebasing dozens of units and hopefully they will be easier to handle without bending guns etc. Now, if only the line of sight issue were so amenable.

I love a good bum on a woman, it makes my day

As no one has yet said: "work is the curse of the blogging classes". However, although the inconsideration of my clients has interfered with the pleasure of my readers, it hasn't stopped me doing stuff. And among the things I have been doing is to go and see Fake Thackray. John Watterson channelled Thackray during the songs and spoke amusingly and movingly about him in between; enhanced by the presence of a couple of people in the audience who had known the singer during his early years.

One small quibble - no turtleneck.

The quack who's gone to the dogs

 "Everyone knows rock attained perfection in 1974, it's a scientific fact." - Homer Simpson

I went to see Dr Bob and the Bluesmakers last night, a band who I hope so very much took their name from the character played by Rowlf on the Muppets that I am going to make no attempt to find out the truth.

"You're right, Fred is a terrible name for a hospital."

Unsurprisingly they played the blues, and played them very well. A fairly classic lineup of two guitars, bass, drums and harmonica were fronted by a female vocalist noticeably younger than the rest of them. Their repertoire leaned heavily on Peter Green era Fleetwood Mac type stuff plus more soul/jazz standards such "I'd Rather Go Blind" and "Stormy Monday" which suited the lead singer's voice very well. They also performed their own compositions which sounded good, especially to those of us who believe that Homer had it right (1).

Among their encores was "Shake Your Hips", nominally a Slim Harpo cover, but actually heavily reliant on the Rolling Stones version of the song on Exile on Main Street; and none the worse for that.

Didn't move her head,
Didn't move her hands,
Didn't move her lips,
Just shook her hips.
Do the hip shake, babe,
Do the hip shake, babe,
Shake your hip, babe,
Shake your hip, babe,
Well ain't that easy. 

(1) astonishingly it is now virtually as long since the first broadcast of the episode of the Simpsons from which that quote was taken, as it was between then and 1974.

Milton Keynes Still Ain't Much of a Town

I have been back to Milton Keynes and, apart from the sun shining, it was much the same as when I left it. However there have been better times at the Casa Epictetus, some of which I feel in the mood to share.

I went to see 'Feast of Fiddles', whom I have reviewed here a couple of times. They remain rather fine, opening this time with the theme from Mission Impossible and covering the usual blend of folk, rock, jazz, and yet more film themes in their own style. I had suggested seeing them to someone and was relieved when she really liked them, because they are somewhat idiosyncratic. So, recommended, but with a caveat.

Only one boardgame was played and that was Bohnanza which is of course a card game. I hadn't played it for a long time had forgotten how much I liked it.

Wargaming took place in the annexe. James, or more accurately his wife Lucy, is hors de combat and so I took the French forces against Peter's Prussians in the Dennewitz scenario from the C&C Napoleonics Expansion 4. While setting it up I was struck by how lopsided it looked and having drawn the French I expected to lose. However, I won by dint of the usual route in this game; I managed to draw cards that were useful. In particular with small hand sizes there is limited scope for building a hand before launching a co-ordinated manoeuvre. It did highlight the importance of well placed artillery and the use of them in Combined Arms attacks.

Mckinley Morganfield

Today may, or just as likely may not, be the centenary of the birth of Muddy Waters.

Got a gypsy woman offering me advice

Got a gypsy woman offering me advice

Got a whole lot of tricks keeping her around

Ain't that the truth.

Uncle Seagull's Orchard

And so to the theatre. I have been to see the Reduced Shakespeare Company do the Complete History of Comedy. which whilst not as good as their Complete Works of Shakespeare was nonetheless full of funny moments.

A chap with a beard

Personal favourites included an Elizabethan Abbot and Costello routine and a number of variations on the chicken-crossing-the-road joke, including a Greek tragedy version and a take à la Samuel Beckett. However, for me at least, the high spot was the Chekhov sketch. Building on the fact that while Anton Pavlovich claimed to write comedy nobody else seems to find his plays amusing, they skewered him good and proper. For someone who recently suffered through Uncle Vanya those few minutes were sweet revenge.

Pot39pouri

So, still no wargaming, although a largish and mixed order has gone off to Warbases. The games it's aimed at are:

• trying Basic Impetus using the Celts and Romans that I have for the Pony Wars variant we played a few months ago.
• extending C&C Napoleonics to deploy more units on a wider battlefield
• differentiating between battle commanders and unit leaders in the Wars of the Roses

Speaking of the Romans in Britain, Peter has drawn my attention to a meld of Pony Wars and Sharpe Practice that appeared in the Lardies' last Christmas special which looks to be an interesting source of ideas. My big problem is that I didn't redraft the rules immediately after the last runs through and have frankly forgotten what we decided.

Boardgaming resumed (by the way I still intend to dedicate a whole post to the whys and wherefores, but the world of boardgaming in Leeds has been riven by a schism every bit as deep as that of wargamers in Ilkley) with the usual wide range of games:

• Kobayakawa: another excellent minimalist Japanese game. In fact it's so minimalist that once you know the rules - themselves, er, minimalist - one could play with a normal pack of cards (or even better 6 Nimmt!) and not need to buy it at all.
• Abluxxen: I like it, but still can't work out a strategy to follow.
• Mysterium: Cosa? Dove? Chi? Still don't like it.
• The Three Musketeers: I was the cardinal and was given the runabout by the musketeers. I'd like to play it more often.
• Hanabi: Much discussion of conventions - I think I'm against - and a solid 20.
• Fidelitas: A new one on me which I'd like to play again now I understand it. I didn't win because I couldn't count to nine.

And briefly, music has included the Jon Palmer Acoustic Band and Blueflint. They were both excellent although sadly the two - count 'em - banjos in the latter did nothing to alter my aversion to the instrument.

Milton Keynes ain't much of a town

And it hasn't been much of a week here at the Casa Epictetus, with no wargaming and no boardgaming. I have been both to Milton Keynes and to Birmingham Airport, but can think of nothing interesting to say about either. So instead, let's take a look at Janita's belly button.

She really did used to dance like that on stage. Happy days.

Pass it on

And so to the theatre. I have been to a very fine performance of 'The History Boys', written of course by the thankfully-still-with-us Alan Bennett. I've seen the play in the theatre before, as well as having watched the film, and admire it for many reasons. Its ability to transcend being set in the 1980s without any references to that decade - indeed with all the detail about Oxbridge entrance being well out of date even at that time - and still not annoy even the most pedantic members of the audience (i.e. me) shows how dramatically strong it is. Plus it addresses the value or otherwise of the various ways of engaging with culture. Does one allow it inside oneself, to change one as an individual slowly over time, or does one simply acquire 'gobbets' to be regurgitated to impress?

Not dead yet

Salvador Dali disparaged the performing arts because of their ephemeral nature. It has been suggested that Bennett was in this play drawing a parallel between history and theatre; both existing only for a moment and then living on solely in the memories of those who witnessed it and what they pass on to others. I think that, in its own small way, wargaming is also like that. I shall in future classify my opponents into the Lintott-like sticklers for fact, the Irwin-like cynical win-at-all-cost types and, my own clear preference, the poetic Hectors (minus the ball-cradling obviously).

A dog in a hat

There has been some comment on your bloggist's tendency to include passages and quotations in foreign languages, and his possible motivations for so doing (*). The History Boys contains a longish scene early in the first act which is entirely in French. Bennett clearly sees no need to translate or explain and it didn't seem to affect the enjoyment of the audience last night. Discuss.

(*) For once Monsieur Fwa is incorrect; I don't do it to annoy. I do it because I am a superficial pseudo-intellectual regurgitating my gobbets.

Großbeeren

"Ein Optimist ist ein Mensch, der ein Dutzend Austern bestellt, in der Hoffnung, sie mit der Perle, die er darin findet, bezahlen zu können." - Theodore Fontane

 

But that's enough about the budget. And the solar eclipse was just as bad. It's tough being a blogger sometimes. I have just received a very nice compliment from this blog's faithful though irregular reader in Luxembourg. If only he knew the struggle I go through. Within the last few weeks there was a period where so little happened that I had to resort to writing about the wok that I bought for £1.50. And as a digression I have to say that the non-stick coating on that wok has turned out to be not of the highest quality. But today I am so replete with things to write about I don't even have to mention the disaster that I just had with a jar of pickled onions.

Instead I am going to briefly cover Wednesday's game of C&C Napoleonics where we tried out the Prussian expansion by playing the Großbeeren scenario. Or rather because Peter got all the right cards - especially a series of Bombard cards - and rolled all the right dice we never really discovered how the new rules worked. It's still a good game though. Indeed I have it on reasonably reliable authority that Charles Grant plays nothing else. Stick that, old schoolers.

Tales of old Dartmoor

That's an obscure title for a blog posting even by my standards. Hercules Grytpype-Thynne would understand. In any event I feel the urge for a boardgame round-up.

Cuthulhu Fluxx: Fluxx is a game that's fascinating the first couple of times that you play it and then gets dreary. I don't understand fantasy in general or H.P. Lovecraft in particular. Enough said.

Trains: This is a bit like Dominion with a board and with, well, trains. I'm not a particular fan of deck-builders, but this was as good as any I've played.

Eight Minute Empire: It actually lasted about twenty minutes, but it provided a good game for five of us. I'd play it again.

One Minute Unltimate Werewolf Daybreak: Which is the same old stuff, but with extra chrome (Alpha Wolf, Paranormal Investigator). Someone had brought in a loudspeaker to play their smartphone through. Strangely this didn't make it any better.

6 nimmt!: I like this, and don't understand why people think it's random; they're just not playing it properly.

Rococo: A nice game with all sorts of mechanics that mesh together well. My only quibble is that it is very difficult to work out who's winning whilst playing. It's about dressmaking and - please remember that logic doesn't always apply in these circumstances - I won essentially by making the most dresses.

Skull: Another game that I like. My logic was impeccable on every turn and yet somehow I failed to call people's bluff correctly. I'm not sure how that works.

R-Eco: We played this with the same rules (the correct rules?) for the second time running and it's growing on me. If you do try it then bear in mind that it's a very low scoring game when making decisions.

The Secret of Monte Cristo: Firstly this game has some lovely components - the marbles and the jewel value markers - and some really tatty ones - especially the jewel placement markers. Any heaviness in this game comes from placing one's marble after the end of one's turn, but my impression was that the number of possible outcomes makes it all so complex as to actually be far more luck than skill. It does however have my new favourite feature: in-game scoring on a track with a clear victory target. By the way, the game has nothing whatever to do with the story in the book.

It is also some time since I posted a photo of me on top of Haw Pike surrounded by women of a certain age. So here goes.

I'm a little teapot

He got a real pretty mouth ain't he?

I have been too busy behaving badly to give this blog the attention it deserves. ["Tell me," asks the Rhetorical Pedant, missing the point as usual "does that mean you only write it when you're bored?"; to which the only reply necessary is a snort of haughty derision] However, I find myself on a Sunday evening with time weighing heavily on my hands and nothing better to do and so here's a catch-up post.

Nimrat Kaur

James has still been in wargaming limbo - although he is in regions even more remote this weekend having gone off to Scotland to mingle with the great and good of wargaming - and so Peter and I had a few games of X-Wing. I was rather taken with it, being by and large a fan of simple mechanics. I have never seen any of the Star Wars films so can't really comment on the theme and my lack of engagement with popular culture caused me some problems with interpreting what was written on the cards. It was a very pleasant evening, although I do think that the Target Lock action is a bit over-powerful. Normal service should be resumed next week with a look at the fourth expansion of C&C Napoleonics, the Prussians.

Green Bartley

Culturally, I belatedly caught up with 'The Lunchbox' which, while finding a tad close to home, I really enjoyed. And then it was on to see Gren Bartley and his band. Fortunately the heated argument I had with Mr Bartley during the interval, and which continued after the gig finished, didn't in any way diminish my enjoyment of the performance. The subject under contention was the attractiveness - or otherwise - of the music of the banjo. For the record, I side with Mark Twain who of course defined a gentleman as someone who knew how to play the banjo, but didn't. Don't let any of that put you off, the banjo only features on one song and the band - who showcase more palatable instruments such as cello, guitar, violin, piano and percussion as well as terrific vocal harmonies - are excellent.

Pot38pouri

My mug - see postings passim - has arrived. It is too good to actually use and now resides in my trophy cabinet next to my award for being Yorkshire Interim Finance Director of the Year, 2011; and very little else. A small wargaming context is provided by the adjacent Mambise flagbearer that I bought in Havana's only model soldier shop. Given the concern expressed by General Fwa over the likelihood of the mug being transported without damage it is ironic to note that it is in pristine condition while both award and figure are much knocked about.

Peter and I returned to Richard III last week having familiarised ourselves with the rules the previous week. I was once again much impressed by the game, despite receiving a fairly sound thrashing. It deserves a proper review; but it's not going to get one. Suffice it to say that Peter recognised the importance of persuading nobles in the other faction to switch sides earlier than I did. The Yorkists took two campaigns as invading pretenders to seize the throne, but after that they were never going to be removed. Henry VI was reduced to making vain, and historically implausible, heroic battlefield charges.

Other boardgames played recently include:

• Abluxxen: Enjoyed it, but have no idea what strategy to follow
• Archipelago: A fairly heavy game. In theory, although not practice, it's semi-cooperative. I think I'd get more out of it on a second run through, especially the range of possible victory criteria.
• Red7: I really like this.
• One Night Ultimate Werewolf: I don't really like this. I feel even more stupid than usual sitting in the pub with my eyes closed listening to an American voice on someone's smartphone pretentiously intoning drivel - including the truly ridiculous "Insomniac, wake up".

 Musically, it's all been a bit folk and roots. The Luke Daniels Trio were showcasing their leader's own songs, but for me the most memorable moment was their version of 'Baker Street' with the iconic saxophone replaced by melodeon. Diamond Dac, playing in aid of the local food bank, are also a trio, this time of fairly mature chaps playing fairly mature music. Still, there is nothing wrong with a repertoire heavily biased towards Mississippi John Hurt with smatterings of Big Bill Broonzy and Blind Boy Fuller.

The best words in the best order...

...was Coleridge's definition of poetry. T.S. Eliot said that poetry wasn't a career, but rather it was a mug's game. In my own small way I have provided some evidence for the latter aphorism. I have been awarded a mug in a competition over at MS Fwa's blog for composing some doggerel.

A chap with a beard

I have now won two prizes in wargaming competitions in my time and in neither case have I had to demonstrate any knowledge of, or proficiency in, wargaming. Which is just as well really.

Мы отдохнем, мы отдохнем

And so to the theatre. The West Yorkshire Playhouse has a new production of an old play, Chekhov's 'Uncle Vanya'. I'd never seen it before and came away somewhat baffled. On the surface it appears to be about a group of Russian bourgeoisie getting bored, drinking and carrying on frustrated, unconsummated love affairs while the peasants do all the work. On closer inspection that's pretty much all it seems to be about underneath as well.

It's possible that Chekhov is expounding the sort of existentialist argument being made elsewhere at the time, or possibly he is drawing a moral about the dignity of work. More likely I suspect he was just painting a mood; what the Russians call настроение. Does anyone remember listening to 'tone poems' which to a philistine like me simply meant a piece of music with no tune? This is a play with no narrative arc - despite quite extravagant and theatrical things happening. The Reduced Shakespeare Company apparently did a three-line version of the play - it can be found in its entirety on the play's Wikipedia page - which I think falls into the category 'cruel, but fair'.

I went to a preview and afterwards my friend the theatre critic of the Morning Star tweeted me to ask what she could expect on press night. Given the likely political views of her readers - they'd have to be pretty hard core tankies to still be hanging in there - I would imagine that seeing it for themselves they'd just see it as confirmation that the 1917 revolution was both necessary and overdue. And on this issue at least I would agree with them.

Mi piace, è bello, bello

And so to the opera. Opera North have laid on a fine double dose of verismo with two short pieces by Falla and Puccini.

I'd seen this production of 'La vida breve' about ten years ago and it remains, I think, the only opera sung in Spanish that I have ever been to. It's staged in a garment factory rather than a metalworks, but is still a cautionary tale based on the age old truism: it's the rich wot gets the pleasure, it's the poor wot gets the pain. Obviously feeling that the libretto doesn't sufficiently cover discrimination against Gyspies there is another such sub-plot acted out in mime. It's all very gory and rather excellent with the moral clearly being that one woman at a time is sufficient. Let us all take note.

After the interval we heard 'Gianni Schicchi', Puccini's only comedy and despite knowing that fact I found myself surprised that it was rather funny. Based on a throwaway incident in 'The Divine Comedy' it deals with greed rather than the lust at the heart of Falla's work. I've actually seen the trickery employed by the eponymous lawyer used in action myself on more than one occasion, so as opera plots go, it's not that far fetched.

Awopbopaloobop Alopbamboom

I went to the Flying Duck last night to see the rather fine Alex Graham and the Concords. They are a piano trio plus vocalist playing rock and roll (the expected Little Richard and Jerry Lee Lewis plus Chuck Berry, Elvis, Carl Perkins etc) with a smattering of more modern stuff from Queen, T. Rex and so on (I said more modern, I didn't say modern per se), all in a boogie woogie stylie. Highly recommended.

After the gig one of the yummy mummies of Ilkley told me that the band were all students at Leeds College of Music. In one of those coincidences beloved of this blog I had the previous day been to that very institution and whilst I can't confirm that either Alex or the Concords are students there, I can advise that they look as if they might be - four very young men in skinny trousers with hipster beards. I'm glad to say that they eschewed the ponytails though. The college shares a building with BBC Leeds and, more importantly, the Aagrah restaurant. Strangely I haven't yet been summoned in to the former to share my worldview with the good people of West Yorkshire and so apart from numerous visits to the latter - which don't really count - this was my first time inside since it was a construction site. On that occasion I was showing our new audit partner a 'typical' project. Apart from its central location the reason for choosing the College/BBC building as a showcase was that of the two managing engineers (electrical and mechanical) one was a woman and one was black. Possibly you won't be surprised that they were the only ones of either type that we employed across dozens of jobs.

Anyway, my reason for visiting on this occasion was to hear Ed Miliband and Ed Balls speak. [Oh no, it's politics - there go the readers again] on the subject of university tuition fees and, although not much reported in the media, improving opportunities for all young people. I will limit myself to saying that ensuring that everyone in society gets a fair crack of the whip is the primary issue on which I will base my vote in two months time (taking as a prerequisite an aversion to invading other countries on the basis of dodgy dossiers), because I would prefer a society in which there is genuine meritocratic diversity rather than the need to pretend that it exists by a bit of window dressing.

As long as there are games to play...

"As long as there are games to play it's not over" - Sir Alex Ferguson

I have been fortunate enough to be able to play some board games over the last couple of weeks. (And I am still intending to devote a post to the broader subject; as soon as real life becomes a little less complex.)


Lewis & Clark: Everything that I know about the Lewis & Clark expedition comes from the notes on the box of the Imex set so I can't really comment on the theme. It's a worker placement game, but with the benefit of very simple victory conditions; reach the objective first and you win. If this was an Olympic sport it would be the 3,000 metre steeplechase and Keyflower would be dressage. I enjoyed it. For the record, most of my Imex Lewis & Clark set is still unused, but various components are spread between a Celt village, the crew of The Crow (not yet featured in this blog as it hasn't yet appeared on the table in the wargaming annexe) and a unit of Opolchenie.

6 Nimmt: Still completely random, but rather good fun.

Guillotine: Who wouldn't enjoy executing the parasitic nobility of France, not to mention the Piss Boy? We certainly did.

Hanabi: Still a good game, but this run through was a disaster with all the 2 cards being bunched at the end.

Harbour: Apparently this is Le Havre light, but I wouldn't know about that. It was quite enjoyable, and being essentially an accounting game, I wasn't surprised when I won.

K2: I really enjoyed this despite coming last by virtue of being the only one to lose a climber to oxygen deprivation. I was much reminded of the ill fated 1986 expedition to the mountain. The board is very similar to the progress wallcharts that Fullers, Smith & Turner put up in all their pubs so drinkers could monitor the progress of the mountaineers that the brewery had sponsored, while toasting them in the specially created K2 lager. The untimely deaths of so many people rather limited the success of this as a marketing campaign.

R-Eco: I enjoyed a second run through of this although we seemed to be playing completely different rules to last time. The theme is still rather obscure though.

Sail to India: I continue to rate this elegant and minimalist game. I tried a different strategy to my usual and managed to narrowly win.

Richard III: James has gone walkabout so Peter and I decided to dig out this two-player block wargame. I hadn't played it for years and we struggled to get the rules straight at first. It's a fine game, effectively reproducing of the swings of fortune found during the Wars of the Roses, full of decision making and prioritisation and very bloody - especially on the heirs to the throne. Having sussed how it works we shall have another crack next week.

Do trousers matter?

And so to the theatre. "Perfect Nonsense: Jeeves and Wooster" is on tour at the moment and I went to see it in Harrogate, accompanied by my elder daughter who claimed never to have seen the Fry and Laurie version, nor to be familiar with any of Wodehouse's work whatsoever. I blame the parents.

A pig who takes things as they come

The conceit of the play is that Bertie, having seen a couple of shows, decides that acting is easy and that he will therefore recount his latest adventures in this way, assisted only by Jeeves, his gentleman's gentleman, and Stebbings, his Aunt Dahlia's butler. The latter two are called upon to play a host of characters, wherein lies much of the humour. Because interestingly, while the dialogue of the play within the play is lifted directly from the source material (The Code of the Woosters to be precise) the laughs mainly come from the physical theatre.

The small, multi-tasking cast and the creative design of the staging immediately reminded me of the Peepolykus version of "The Hound of the Baskervilles" and, unusually for me, I was right because one third of the cast - playing Jeeves, Gussie Fink-Nottle, Sir Watkin Basset, his daughter Madeleine and his niece Stiffy Byng - was Jason Thorpe who starred in that production. Robert Webb had the somewhat easier role of Wooster. He was good, but perhaps his television experience was the cause of not speaking quite loud enough for the theatre.

The Cool Person

The third member of the cast - playing Stebbings, Aunt Dahlia, Constable Oates and most memorably Sir Roderick Spode - illustrates once again that this blog is not just thrown together, but follows a carefully plotted narrative arc. Having been steered in the direction of Robert Morley by well-known Scottish mug designer MS Foy, we have travelled via that actor's portrayal of Hamilton Black to 'The Young Ones' film. We now arrive at Christopher Ryan, here giving us a would-be fascist dictator in black footer bags, but perhaps best known as Mike in 'The Young Ones' television programme. No applause is necessary.

Oh, I would, I would, if welcome I were

"Oh, well I like your feather bed
And well I like your sheets
But better I like your lady wife
Who lies in my arms asleep"

Casa Epictetus is once again replete with working laptops and tablets and I can now regale you with all the exciting things that I have been doing; OK, with all the things that I have been doing. Most notable of which is that I have been to see Fairport Convention once again. As one would expect they were excellent and I'm not sure that I can think of anything much else to add. They played a number of tracks from their new album, but while normally that would cast a shadow over the whole experience I can report that, as with Steeleye Span a few months ago, the new stuff was rather good. The highlight of that element was a lovely new song written by Ralph McTell, the name of which unfortunately escapes me. It almost goes without saying that the best moments of the concert overall were the trio of songs from Liege and Lief (Crazy Man Michael, Farewell Farewell and Matty Groves) plus the perennial encore Meet on the Ledge.

Nobody gets justice

 "Nobody gets justice. People only get good luck or bad luck." - Orson Welles

So, wargaming has taken place. Peter and I played a Seven Years War scenario developed by James, which can be seen on his blog. I drew the Prussians and had to hold two hills and/or capture the road exit on the Russian side of the table. I was keen not to over-think my initial deployments, resulting in a massive under-think, with my units spread rather thinly on the hills and rather too many of them in the central village. The theory there was that they could be switched to either hill as appropriate. I chose the option for extra forces which included the most infantry. Having drawn an additional musket reload card my logic was that I would be more likely to be able to fire when I wanted, plus of course it gave me units with which to hold the ground. I never really had any intention of trying to capture the road exit.

Peter massed the Russians on either flank and attacked through the terrain. On my left I had a small initial success when my Hussars routed the leading unit of infantry in the woods, but they pursued and were destroyed, and that turned out to be the only melee that I won in the entire game. On my right the Russian cavalry quickly crossed the stream and marsh and eventually outflanked and destroyed my cavalry. There was a moment where I had the opportunity to advance my infantry from that hill and, bringing my extra fire power into play, shoot down his cavalry. But I didn't. Nor did I move my infantry in the village to either flank at any sort of early opportunity. In fact I left it until they could only manoeuvre  across the face of his guns or backstep slowly.

So, my set-up was dreadful, my play was appalling, I lost all the melees and on every morale challenge that I issued I rolled a one. How then, I hear you ask, did I win? Luck, comes the answer. I simply won all the initiative, especially on the second night. The Russian progress was slow and made them vulnerable to my artillery, and I drew the necessary combination of cards to speedily retire my best unit (some superior Grenadiers) from one field in front of the village when they came under artillery fire and then miraculously advance them forward on the other side of the road at exactly the right time. We both failed Major Morale twice (a cumulative probability of somewhat less than 0.1% given how few units we had lost) and Peter ran out of morale chips the second time it happened to him while I had only one left myself.

It was a good scenario - although the turn limit was far too small and we abandoned it almost immediately - and deserves replaying sometime, preferably with someone who knows what they are doing in command of each side. Hopefully more photos will appear on James' blog sometime.

That's no way to run a railroad

"It is not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer or the baker that we expect our dinner, but from their regard to their own interest." - Adam Smith

Having pointed out in my last post that I was temporarily relying on a tablet to access Blogger, the aforementioned tablet promptly stopped working. Having eventually figured out how to discuss the subject with Amazon - and given that their customer service is actually rather good, why do they make it so difficult to access it? - I was a bit baffled by their response. They declined to replace the item, which is what I wanted, but instead offered me a refund and asked me to re-order separately. The price has dropped in the six weeks since I bought it, so in effect Amazon have replaced my faulty kit and refunded me £40.

All of which put me in mind of a visit that I made to Sainsbury's last weekend. I bought £20.20 worth of groceries, but had so many money-off vouchers that I only had to pay £1.70. The supermarket is currently running a promotion whereby when one's Nectar card is scanned one can win bonus points. I duly won £5. So, I walked away with stuff to the value of more than £20 and in effect they gave me £3.30 for my trouble.

Seeing as these two large organisations seem intent on giving me things, I shall offer them some free professional advice in return. Speaking as an accountant, the only way to make a profit is to take more money from the customer than you give him or her. That is all.

Nothing's impossible

I am currently restricted to accessing Blogger from a tablet rather than  a proper computer. This is only a problem because of my technical incompetence which among other things is preventing me from replying to comments.

In which context, can I say two things. Firstly that Yuri Gagarin must surely have been among the most famous people in the world in 1961. Secondly that I met Ronnie Cash - author of the rhyme about the first man in space referred to above - about a dozen or so years after 'The Young Ones' came out. Our school was very close to, and had links with, the studios in which the film was made. As a result we did a stage version as our school play with support and input from Mr Cass. Sadly I was too callow to ask him for the secret of his inspiration for songs about cosmonauts.

So impressed was he that we went on to try out a musical version of 'Midsummer Nights Dream' which he had just written and of which he had high hopes of a West End production. Unfortunately for him the new work didn't  prove as robust to being mangled by a bunch of sixth formers as a plot about a youth club putting on a show. And that was despite your bloggist giving the world his Flute the Bellows Mender, in what remains his last stage performance to date.